BBC2 programme Whites saw Alan Davies dive deeper into the tortured soul of Marco Pierre, I mean Roland White. The program opens with Caroline (Kathrine Parkinson) taking the mick out of chef for a dull predictable menu, but only after she draws Rolland out by pretending to change her bra. It doesn't help that Bib has already suggested spiny crab amongst other more adventurous fare. "Oh look, here comes Rolandosuarus with his boring food" . Bib is entranced by thinly disguised celeb chef du jour Shay Marshal. As the story advances we find out Shay has to make chocolate bullets that really fire but don't harm anybody. So it's Heston Blumenthal and the frankenfood jokes keep coming from Jellied Eels the Shay way to something with gold leaf on it. Bib's desire to punch up the menu would go unfulfilled except Shay Marshall decides to drop in for a bite and sleep the night. Armed with sudden fear of being upstaged, Rolland allows Bib a shot at that night's service. All goes well until Rolland takes charge of the celebrity chef's personal crab salad. You can see the disaster train coming from a mile away, but when it comes, it's still worth the wait. They say revenge is a plate best served cold, unless of course your victim was going to apologize all along.
Next week Scoose gets his chance at running the kitchen. Keep in mind sods law, the bigger the bell end the harder the fall, as we witnessed on Masterchef with super ego Kevin. BTW can anybody tell me who plays the excellent music at the start of Whites?
I must congratulate the scheduling boffins at the BBC for placing Whites right after Masterchef The Professionals. It makes sense, but that hasn't stopped loads of TV people from doing the exact opposite, has it? Having Masterchef as the lead in is inspired genius, I only hope once Masterchef finishes, the BBC find a suitable replacement cookery programme to place before it. I strongly recommend you watch Behind the scenes with Matt King and of course there's more like this on the behind the scenes page at the BBC.
Ideal on BBC3 had it's last episode for Series 6. In it we see the rescue of Mos's father from the Low Clan. Filled with the usual insanity and surrealism, the cast deliver a finale worthy of Ashes to Ashes or Doctor Who. Hyperbole you say? Hardly; after the successful rescue and arrests that followed, we are told that Mos will be alone after all next series. Yes I said next series. You don't think after that ending they'll leave us hanging? Johnny Vegas and company have to come back! We want to see what happens to Plastic Face, Cartoon Head's son, we want to know if Tilly the asexual lesbian will one day become bi-curious, we want to know if Mrs. low ever paid for her hedge trimmer.
Tiny little nugget of news that floored me and left us wondering if any of my heroes or heroines are for real. The actress who plays Betty Driver off Coronation Street, Betty of Betty's Hot Pot.....doesn't even cook, and worse........She's a vegetarian. When will it end? Next they'll tell me Elton John is straight and lip synchs....