Sunday, 31 October 2010

Geordie Joy, Mackem Terror plus Rocky Horror, Daleks & Sci Fi Nerds

HOWAY THE LADS! Not since we got promoted fizzy pop champs have I been this happy, no strike that....not since Shearer played his last game in the Wear Tyne derby have I been this happy. 5-1, Titus Bramble sent off, Nolan scores three, Shola gets 2. I had predicted 4-1 earlier in the week , but never in wildest imaginings did I think we'd be so emphatically superior.I will be floating on air for the next week.  Listen to the BBC Radio Newcastle podcast of match highlights

I'm not sure I can say we were totally without fault as we did allow Bent to score, but credit to the lads for a brilliant game where they played for pride not pounds. It could have gone the other way had the penalty been granted to Sunderland in the first half, but it wasn't. I'm a bit gutted Shola was taken off before he had the chance to score number three, but he proved his worth and maybe now we can see him more often in the starting line up. Nolan of course was brilliant and got perfect service from his room mate Andy Caroll. So why is the Southern press so keen to get Hughton sacked? Bored? Not content to see us happy? Who knows, but it's time he was left alone and he got a new contract and some high praise from the ownership.

Today will go down in the annals of Newcastle United as the day we outplayed Sunderland as totally  since  December1956. Pretty goals, gritty defending , great rushes, it's all you ever wanted from a football game. I feel badly for my Mackem mates, but honestly, would you have preferred the Brummie 0-0 draw earlier in the day??? Your players were great on a day when ours were that much better.

By the way, did anybody else see that wee lad at the beginning of the match? Cute as a button taking a penalty. Much better than the sight of the fat topless bloke and his multitudinous rolls of fat. My worse moment was when the camera panned on Mike Ashley sat there like a toad on a pile of his own shit grinning. Credit to the supporters for not taking the focus off our lads and singing from start to finish. 

I'm so proud right now of team, there are days you wonder why, you struggle to get through matches, find a stream or have the telly show us over Blackburn or Everton. And then you get a Derby. It makes all the suffering in the shadows of the top 4 clubs worth it. No one will ever accuse us of being glory seekers and we have the best supporters in the land, and by we I mean even the Mackems. Football is our religion and our teams are our faith. I wish the networks and the Southern press would cut the negativity and the greed that courses through the veins of even our national heroes like Wayne Rooney. I shall sleep well tonight in knowledge we had the best side of two teams that wanted to play football for the supporters. Give Bent, Nolan, and Caroll an England call up, it's time we saw dedicated honest footballers replace the coddled overpaid princes currently on the team sheet.

Top 7 reasons Black Cats lost

1- Jet lag, the trip from Sunderland took a lot out of them
2- Afraid to hurt themselves due to NHS budget cuts
3-Got confused an went shopping at Eldon Square instead
4-Bacon butties they had for lunch gave them indigestion
5-The sight of topless fat men put them off their game
6-Secretly composing angry letters to the BBC about Ann Widdicombe
and lastly
7- They couldn't understand a word being said as Mackem is sooo different from Geordie.

Heard this on the radio.... "For those of you who forgot to change the clocks at the week end... It's 5 past Sunderland".

Not making this up..... The genuine post code of  The Stadium of Light SR5 1SU. Honest, you can check for yourself.

While I'm waxing sentimental and feeling nostalgic. I was watching Rocky Horror Picture Show last night with my wife. We've both seen it often enough to know every word, move and gesture on and off screen. As a film, it's less Halloween and more musical decrying the generation gap that existed in the 70's. I will always see it as the last gasp of a generation of independent film makers who valued musicals and sharp wit. The other thing that came up was an interesting insight in child rearing.   If you have a child,and you are a devotee of this fine film, you've had this conversation with your young teen...... "Son... it's time I told you about  something important, specially now that you're old enough". Dad I'm not taking drugs and I'm not sleeping with any body. That's nice son, as I was saying, now that you're older, you're ready to do this for the first time. Dad  you're not getting me a hooker are you?  No boy nothing like that..... You reach for the locked DVD box and reach in. Dad I swear I never looked at your porn.... he gets nervous and red.  Your Mother and I talked last night  and decided it was time.... You're going to watch Rocky Horror. Some of you are laughing , some of you are cringing and some of you are doing both. I watched RHPS with my oldest when he was about 14, he's since seen it with mates and as far as I know he may even have got into the props and rituals as well. Even now in this age where children think they know everything, nothing prepares you for life like watching Rocky Horror with your parents for the first time. It's right up there with your first proper drunk with your parents. You are today a man ( or a woman ) and it isn't all bad.

Watching Rocky Horror with your children is even better than the first time you take out the Godzillas and Frankensteins, though that experience is as memorable. I recall fondly scaring the hell out of my boys for the first time with The Borg and the Daleks. Nothing like the thrill of seeing your bairns acquire the look of total fear when they hear "Exterminate" or "resistance is futile" as the Borg create another zombie hive mind. Followed closely on by the first time they realize the bastards can fly. Oh and the first time they watch a zombie flick.... Suffice to say, at least one the boys has become a sci fi nerd like Daddy and the other one is obsessed with animé, or at least he was when I last spoke to him. Do your children a favour and teach them to respect well crafted classic cult films.

If you're wondering what films you should subject your children to .....In No particular order as they say on Strictly, these are the films/programmes you need to turn your baby into a socially inept, Douglas Adams quoting, scarf wearing, companion loving nerd like yourself. Before you know it, they may even be making their own youtube clip of the cat being chased by a remote controlled Dalek, narrated in Klingon or High Elvish. 

1- Godzilla
2- Frankenstein/Dracula
3-Early Hammer films
4- Doctor Who
5- Star Wars but only the first three films ( no , not the prequels, the real first three)
6- Any and all Doctor who as early as possible
7- Star Trek Original Series, TNG and DS9
8- Early Buffy/Xena/Hercules
9- Sean of the Dead
10- Original run of Survivors
11- Rocky Horror Picture Show AND The Blues Brothers
12-Lord of the Rings Trilogy ( soon to be more)
13- Troma ... nuff said
14- Red Dwarf
15- Young Frankenstein/High Anxiety
15- Early Weird Al Yankovic tracks
16- Day of the Triffids

If you do this, you will have a healthy happy human who will be able to see the humour danger and possibilities of any situation, and they may even be able to sing and dance.

Before I forget, I take back what I said about Graham Norton, he's been very good, had great guests and been able to even fluster Lord Alan Sugar. Also check out the last Qi "Horrible" as it won't be in XL format for a while. dead funny with a class panel.

See you later for the Strictly results show!

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