Thursday, 10 June 2010
x=(2010 - 1966) Years of pain , still we keep believing, Come on England!
I suppose I may as well admit now that in a few weeks I'll be writing about how we were robbed, bemoaning the quality of officiating and wondering how we went out on pens yet again to ( insert team name... Portugal Italy Germany Brazil) . I might even be inconsolable for at least a week and only calm down when the first rays of Top Gear emanate from my telly. On the other hand , we could have won the Cup and I will be floating on air for weeks . One is allowed to dream, isn't one?
Regardless of what happens, a few quick rules during the World Cup.
1-Do not leave the room for food, bathroom breaks, or anything less than a fire or angry ferrets, and even then you should wait for half time or else somebody will score, usually the other guys.
2- Do not ring your mate during a match or during the last five minutes " for a joke". It's never ever funny, and he'll hate you for life.
3- Never ever say " It's just a game". There lies danger and you will be held responsible for any injuries you have justly asked for.
4- If you are new to this, when entering a pub, bar, sitting room full of devotees, pick a player, occasionally shake your head, say his name in a concerned or excited way and you might even look like you know what you're talking about.
5- Depending where you are on planet Earth, go to sleep early and set you alarm clock. I assure you, your boss will understand why you look half dead and your productivity has dropped by 50 %.
5- Join a pool of some kind, you might even put a fiver on the tournament, it will heighten that ecstasy or agony all the more when you have pride and few bob riding on the result.
6 Pick a team to support when your side tumbles out ignominiously. No fun just watching for three weeks .
7- Find a Brazilian party, win or loose, they will be the highlight of your World Cup, and the women are hot.
8- Lastly, Remember to wash, even girls into football, don't like sleeping with trolls.
If you follow these simple rules , you will have joined the rest of humanity and had a good time in the bargain.
See you Monday for the usual Telly and music stuff.... COM'N ENGLAND!