That felt good. Before I go on about our quality side, let me say a few words about goal line technology. That was a goal, it took a second of replay to see that. Football is the only sport to not embrace the modern world, is FIFA a bunch of Druids? Maybe they're Amish or perhaps they haven't been off their estates in so long they don't know the world has moved on since 1870. Sepp Blater is a luddite who is bringing football into disrepute, he has to go NOW. I say this for the matches to come and the deflated unhappy fans yet to be disappointed by yet another such debacle. I think this may be the straw that broke the camel's back as half the FiFa executive are home nation reps
Now on to the main event. What was Capello thinking? He played Barry, he played Milner he played an entire side of worthless over paid lazy Premirship pansies. The only decent person out there was David James. I apologize for every bad thing I ever said about you Calamity, you kept us from being spanked 9-0. Then Capello chooses to sub in Heskey when we're down and he can't score. Where was Crouch? I would have accepted Beckham at this point. Then the man in a post match interview says England played well. What match was he watching? What drugs is he taking , I can use some now. This is what happens when the powers that be do not take International football seriously.
I would have been happier sending the best England had, even if they were 19 years old, look at those Germans, young men mostly, but they are good, they are well formed into a team, and the manager has them playing like a Panzer division. Our team consists of a collection of stars who are used to getting their own way and getting paid wages we can only dream of. What ever pride in wearing the three Lions vanished the first time they got a big contract and a permanent spot in the rotation. This is as bad as the bad old days under Svenn, then no one had a look in unless one of the Man U, Arsenal, or Liverpool stars was hurt. It's time to rip up the car parks that cover pitches all over London in advance of the Olympics, get young people playing en masse and invest in the domestic players like Australia have done for every sport they have gone on to master.
Something is rotten in Denmark and it starts at the top. The Premiership is partly to blame, they have produced a 2nd rate England side by eschewing ( my word for the week ) home grown talent for Mega Stars from any other places. They then pay them huge wage packets that could have gotten a less spectacular but more English set of players Premiership wide. After not much more time, these same players would be just as big as Kaka, or the winker Ronaldo. Next we need to set up goal keeping academies, churn out enough of these geezers to staff every team down to Nationwide three times, maybe then we'll have a few stars to choose from in goal. Lastly, why is not Britain naturalizing a few more footballers from other places, every other country in Europe has it's Brazilian, Turk or Cameroonian. . Our defence also needs sorting, that back 11 of England was like butter on hot day, seems the system only really ever focusses on strikers. Brazil have exported the concept of total football to the rest of the world, we need to adopt it. I'm not saying the top Brazilian strikers are the best keepers on earth , but I suspect they can teach Green a few tricks.
Enough already about England, I'm sick of them, hope they all crawl off into a hole for the summer. Wags money mansions cars, it's what they know, Rooney , Lampard, Gerard, Cole, Heskey, Terry, Upson, Milner SWP , the lot of them were shades of their proper form. I'm more embarrassed having supported England than I've been before. Oh I was upset other times, always had a decent scapegoat, (Listening to Five live.... Grow up Capello , Resign now. Don't wait for the meeting you eedjit. ) Where was I? but this time even if the goal had counted , we still would have lost 4-2, we deserved to loose 8-2 but James was that good. I hope he knows we appreciate his work.
Germany proved they deserve to win the whole thing now. I will be supporting them in the next round and Lord Help anybody who gets in their way. Argentina will give them a good run but it's the only side that can do that. So there it is the real World Cup final will be a Quarter final. Nothing else matters. Brazil are decent , but not good enough for me, Germany will edge them in a tight game. Today only one side came out to play and showed us from the first few minutes how it's done. One of the few European sided to do so. France Italy, Greece, Spain and now England., have all played rubbish anti football. Only Spain seem to have woken up in the last few minutes to save face, the rest are all deservedly gone.
Not sure if I'll watch the Argies now or just flip over to Top Gear, Mexico could still pull a blinder .....
It's 55 years since Newcastle United won the FA Cup last, 44 years since England won the World Cup, it was also the only time England won the World Cup. In 1966 I was a tiny little boy , my biggest concern was being vaguely aware of the 1000th anniversary of the founding of the Polish State. There were Church basement parties, I'm told I went to parades and special concerts . If I'm honest, I don't remember all that much. Just loads of strangers in our house. It wasn't till years later that I began having memories of any kind worth getting worked up over. And yet those victories in 1955 and 1966 resonate in my soul to such an extent that I can tell you about those great teams. I've seen the clips and read the books, and yet there are days I can't remember where I left my keys,but ask me about a Champions League Final or Derby, I can paint a picture in words. As a football supporter I reckon time in fixtures lists and summer breaks. I can tell when something happened if I can attach a canny goal, famous victory or more often than not, yet another disastrous outing for Newcastle or England. As in answer to the question, "When did you meet your wife?" Well I know it was before we went out on pens to Portugal but after we beat Sunderland 4-1 away. It was Shearer's last ever match and he scored that penalty late in the 2nd half..... .
Now if you are one of the few non football types reading this, let me explain something to you. When we are in fits of rage, finger nails reduced to bloody stumps and unable to sleep or eat from worry, we are in fact having fun. I know it doesn't look like that, but we are. It's our biennial ( World Cup and Euro) rush of blood to the head, when we get to dream yet again of faded glory and hope springs eternal that the latest manager won't screw it up or a certain Chelsea player won't go green at the gills and miss a pen that he would otherwise nail any other day.....I Still feel sick thinking about that one. It's our outlet for feeling that testosterone filled tribal unity of purpose without having to declare war or sacrifice virgins on an altar. We get to wear some seriously silly clothes and bond with total strangers we might otherwise never talk to. We as a planet ( except for maybe two countries) indulge in some pretty serious male bonding followed by even more male bonding. Football, is one of the last refuges of talent, skill, fitness and luck that exists today. You can within reason predict an outcome, but as they say , it's a funny old game, between the ref and the weather and the mood of the players and the crowd, there is no way of knowing for sure how it will end. Unlike X factor, you can't see the winner till end of play.
Thanks to Bend it like Beckham, it has also become acceptable for girls to join in as well. Pretty good if you're a male of the species seeking a mate who will also declare that the calendar only has 10 months in it except in Euro and World Cup years , when it has 11 months broken up by the wait for the next fixtures list. There is however a risk in mixed marriages, derby days can be a bit of a struggle. Do you let it all hang out or pretend you're just a bit gutted for your wife when your mortal enemies have just been spanked 4-0, meaning she will be mardy for the rest of the day? I won't advise you on this as any advice I give you will be wrong and you'll only blame me for the ruination of your life. In my case, my wife still loves Man United but has become such a Toon supporter she bleeds black and white more than I do. Whatever you, don't say Mike Ashley if she's got a sharp object.
Now what am I feeling and thinking right now, a few days before the big kick off? I'm wondering if all my tops are clean, do we have enough food and drink in for the week end and will I be able to get my writing deadlines in before I do sod all because I can't be moved from in front of the telly? Somehow I doubt it . That's it, nothing else matters for the next month, I will eat breathe and sleep football. I love Doctor Who, but I'm hoping it's not going to interfere with the matches. At least this year the Cup is being played only an hour away instead of Korean central time. I'm not willing to get up at strange hours for most things, but the World Cup is different. If I don't see the match live, I'll be forced to avoid friends, steer clear of newspapers, radio and entire web sites. It can't be done and it's unfair to ask me. Pretty shallow I hear you saying, and maybe you're right, there are bigger issues, earth shatteringly important things like, will the officiating be as good or better than in 2006, or will we see a repeat of the scandals of 2002 with the shameful displays of diving, corrupt officials and doubtful calls that seemed to favour a certain host nation until the world threatened to stop watching. Then there's the whole question of the electronic official. I'd love to have a clean World Cup, a WC that has refs that are without flaw and get every call right. Thing is they are human, and that means they make mistakes. We don't have to tolerate the worst of them any more, there is goal line technology that will determine in seconds flat if the ball went in, or if Maradona handled the ball. I am also concerned that if they mess with the ball yet again, it will affect the way the way the game is played. I'm worried refs will expect respect but still take the piss out of players.As you can see I'm a sensitive and complex man.
My biggest conflict is my desire to see the players I follow the rest of the year every year, perform well, and not get hurt. If I'm honest, as much as I'd love to see a 2nd star on England shirts, I'd almost rather have Newcastle United as far from bottom of the table and go 6th or even 4th in the Prem. While for some of you, that Croatian with a funny name is a revelation, my wife however will have been watching Vidic play for Manchester United for the last few years. The last thing we want is to see is our best players banged up on pitches thousands of miles from home playing for a team that will likely not win the tournament or place in the final 8. Michael Owen spent more time in therapy than on the pitch for Newcastle as it is, but. our hearts sank when he was injured in 2006. The club has yet to recover all the financial damages claimed from his World Cup exit. Considering the amount of time he was on the books for the Toon, we'll never know what impact he could have had if he'd played regularly.
Speaking of agony and what might have been, right here, right now, I have a terrible ache in the pit of my stomach, a feeling of dread that we will be afflicted by every calamity, bad call and mismanaged substitution that has snatched defeat from the jaws of victory time and again. I'm sure the feeling will be replaced soon enough by misplaced optimism and pure hope in the belief that this year is the year we do it. This year is the year we can finally stop counting the bloody years of pain in those maudlin songs they keep writing. Despite the injuries ( Rio Ferdinand) and slightly combative spirits ( Rooney) It is possible we could win this year. Every year we won ( see above) , England did not have a song. This year , we don't either, see my last post about the terminally unfunny Mr Corden and the abysmally bad SHOUT. Spirits are high, last Saturday fewer people watched the telly BAFTAs than watched England play the rest of the world in a charity kick about taken by far to many of us far too seriously, where we went out on pens (again) . On the back of that performance, we've been promised the real England team have practised this time. I for one believe our Italian. Robert Green, West Ham's goal keeper helped his club place 17th this year, surely the clear superior of Buffon and co.
I suppose I may as well admit now that in a few weeks I'll be writing about how we were robbed, bemoaning the quality of officiating and wondering how we went out on pens yet again to ( insert team name... Portugal Italy Germany Brazil) . I might even be inconsolable for at least a week and only calm down when the first rays of Top Gear emanate from my telly. On the other hand , we could have won the Cup and I will be floating on air for weeks . One is allowed to dream, isn't one?
Regardless of what happens, a few quick rules during the World Cup.
1-Do not leave the room for food, bathroom breaks, or anything less than a fire or angry ferrets, and even then you should wait for half time or else somebody will score, usually the other guys.
2- Do not ring your mate during a match or during the last five minutes " for a joke". It's never ever funny, and he'll hate you for life.
3- Never ever say " It's just a game". There lies danger and you will be held responsible for any injuries you have justly asked for.
4- If you are new to this, when entering a pub, bar, sitting room full of devotees, pick a player, occasionally shake your head, say his name in a concerned or excited way and you might even look like you know what you're talking about.
5- Depending where you are on planet Earth, go to sleep early and set you alarm clock. I assure you, your boss will understand why you look half dead and your productivity has dropped by 50 %.
5- Join a pool of some kind, you might even put a fiver on the tournament, it will heighten that ecstasy or agony all the more when you have pride and few bob riding on the result.
6 Pick a team to support when your side tumbles out ignominiously. No fun just watching for three weeks .
7- Find a Brazilian party, win or loose, they will be the highlight of your World Cup, and the women are hot.
8- Lastly, Remember to wash, even girls into football, don't like sleeping with trolls.
If you follow these simple rules , you will have joined the rest of humanity and had a good time in the bargain.
See you Monday for the usual Telly and music stuff.... COM'N ENGLAND!
