Friday, 18 June 2010

And the Mountains crumbled into the sea...Siesmic World cup day

Who knew when we woke up to day  that the world as we know it would be hit by a tsunami of bad luck and incredible stupidity. I know what you're thinking, and yes it's tragic that the alarm clock didn't go off and I missed the first half of Honduras Chile. It gets worse, Gallifrey Base, home of the Whovian football secret cave, crashed and burned. We reckon it's the Lord thy God Moffat having his revenge on some people for leaking a  massive spoiler the other day. You cannot imagine the chaos of over 40 nerds attempting to access a site that refuses to be accessed. We spent the better part of the day polluting two mates Face book stati like lost lambs wondering where the field had gone.  I shudder to think what will happen to us if Gallifrey Base is still offline when England Kick off. The tragic collapse of our home on the internet did not stop the World Cup, and  believe me, if you missed any of it , you missed possibly the best day so far. Clangers, spectacular saves goals and shambollic displays of bad judgement and tragic heroes.

Why don't we start with the tragic hero. Today was very possibly Thiery Henry's last  shot at International footballing glory. Pity Domenech didn't use him, Henry surely couldn't have been any worse than the collection of talent that simply didn't show up on the day. To be honest I think their bodies showed up but the spirit of France was left behind in a locker room somewhere in Paris. The French squad never threatened to score or scare Mexico, it was like the will to live had been sapped out of them. At one point you saw players like Evra Anelka and Malouda , standing around like grazing sheep. What we witnessed was not a poor side but a side that is adrift. Now some of you say Karma, I say, yeah sure it should have been Ireland . That said, Domenech has been well past his sell by date for years. He has never known how to use his players. Going as far back as Euro 2004, this tactical genius played people out of position and wondered why they weren't producing results.How he has held on to his job is beyond belief. Even before the crash and burn of today, this man was the most hated man in all of France. I can only wonder what the mob will be thinking when he sneaks home by the back door. Not only did Mexico a not bad side, dismantle the World Cup Champions of 1998, it humiliated them 2-0, decisively beating the stuffing out of the frankly at sea French . Thiery Henry was the picture of  misery for the entire team. Domenech went to extraordinary lengths to publicly make the former footballer of the year feel like a broken unwanted cripple. Now he may not have got a lot matches at his club Barcelona this year, but you surely could have used him to try and stem the tide when it was obvious you needed all hands at the pump. If that is the way we are to remember the hero of Highbury, then I am deeply saddened. A mate of mine pointed out the following.... in the 2002 world cup France drew 0-0 with Uruguay, in 2010 drew 0-0 with Uruguay, lost 2-0 to Denmark in 2002 tonight they lost 2-0 to Mexico in 2002 they lost 1-0 to Senegal what are the odds they'll lose to south Africa 1-0 on Tuesday. I'm sure Ladbrooke's has odds on that. If that does happen it's good all around, South Africa get to win a match but they don't advance past the group stage. Seeing how convenient it would be for all concerned, watch France draw or even win.

The other train wreck of a match was Greece v  Nigeria, If I said the French were moving slowly , what the Greeks did looked like a slow motion video where only the ball seemed to be at normal speed. Nigeria was in control from the opening kick off and would have gone on to take the match convincingly until midfielder Sani Kaita decided to scupper it all by giving an unprovoked studs up kick to a Greek player. The till then placid Greeks took a few minutes to wake up and dispatch a 10 man Nigeria 2-1. In a self inflicted wound, Nigeria has surely tumbled out the World Cup prematurely to a team that until then, had never ever won a world cup match.  If this was a premiership side, the front office would even now be releasing a statement declaring it's full confidence in  Kaita and that they have no intention of terminating his contract. Pack your bags lad, will be a good long time before anybody wants you . The fact that probably one of the best hopes of an African team getting out of the group stages was also burned, is doubly tragic. My Algerian mate speaks for most Africans when he tells me they are tired of never seeing an African club in the final. For Nigeria to remove themselves like this will not endear them to their fans. A minor detaill but absolutely true, today the vuvuzelas were quiet for such long stretches  the visiting Mexican supporters got to sing and chant. Told a mate about this and he accuse me and another guy of lying just to trick him into turning up the volume. Are you listening FIFA?

Now what can I say about Argentina South Korea? 3-1 romp by Maradona and boys over a  strong but outclassed South Korean team. Argentina have to be considered strong contenders for the final 8. Mad Diego Maradona who had to explain today he did not fancy men, has a special relationship with his players. Did you see Diego handle the ball? Bonkers.You can see how they will do anything for him, even if he's not the smartest tactician or the brightest bulb in the room. Argentina will play as a single organism wanting to win the whole thing I'm sure.. Then again Masherano might loose his head and do a Kiata. As i've said before, it's a funny old game.

Speaking of funny, the weather at the venues has got so inclement that locals and visitors are sporting winter gear. Apparently the cold temps are the reason most locals have avoided the matches leaving vast sections of stands empty.

The footie Gods not content to deliver the most bizarre day to date, also allowed us to sort out the rest of the year. Yes the fixtures list came out today. With it, we can plan birthdays , anniversaries  doctor's visits.and synchronize flying visits to Mum with away matches.  So what goodies are in store for us ? I'm glad you asked.  We get to play Manchester United AWAY in our season opener.  Sounds daunting I know, but the optimist in me reckons  that last year in the same fixture, Wigan drew Manchester United 0-0. So why not us. Speaking of hopeless causes, our World Cup campaign resumes with a match against Algeria. I would think we should be able to take them, but it will be up to the keepers. Rumour has it that Green will be replaced by David Calamity James. Surely he can't be any worse, can he?  Fingers crossed and tomorrow I won't be writing this through clenched fists and gnashing teeth.

No comments: