Masterchef Professionals reduce and Michael Wood plays it safe.

Michael Wood's Story of England continued tonight in what was a return to a more familiar format for the acclaimed documentarist. We pick up with the end of the World as we knew it and stopped short of the great plague. Most of the material had in fact been covered by other programmes last month during Norman week. That is not to say it wasn't interesting or well told. In his more familiar territory, Proff Wood did the BBC walk and interviewed a number of scholars who ritualistically pulled out the Domesday book and other ancient documents to appropriate awe and respect. He then wandered the countryside going to places so far away they had little if anything to do with Kibworth. I'm not saying he didn't illustrate his point properly, but we were told it was supposed to be about England through Kibworth's eyes. The one time he could have done so much more, he chose to do as little as possible. The Gar Tree or Speech Mound of Kibworth was a fascinating vestige of old English culture going as far back as the Druids, we had a location, medieval records, photos of the tree, we had aerial photography, we had a gnarled tree stump that looked at least 1000 years old. Did he do anything with it? Did they dig a test trench? Did they even walk over the spot it was supposed to have been on? NO. He could have  helped clarify much about early traditional moots, but he walked away. You know, while I'm at it , he also didn't think the Roman mound/Norman moat and bailey castle was worth excavating either. Time Team would have made a two parter of this one and most certainly discovered information that even now is under threat of being washed away and lost for ever. On the Gar Tree site alone, the number of questions that could have been answered. What kind of food did they eat? Did they leave sacrificial offerings on the site? Just how old is the site and of course if it was used as late as the 1700's, what was it's last recorded use and why was it abandoned.

As a history enthusiast, I was deeply disappointed. On the whole, I could have missed the hour and not been the poorer for it, that is except for the bit about the Gar tree. I sincerely hope the Plague to Oliver Cromwell is better and contains some nugget we might not have otherwise been aware of. Considering the programme was on at the same time as the 2nd half of  the Manchester United  CL match, and  was the only other thing  that wasn't a complete waste of time, I had hoped for something a bit more than reheated Norman history. If the next one is as tepid as tonight's effort, I may well consider looking to my DVD collection for inspiration. I know, I can watch a Tom Baker Doctor Who complete with sacred mounds and creepy villagers in tweed. Read the next review for Peasants' revolts to Tudors or watch the episode here

And so I was left with a bad taste in my mouth after the promise of a towering feast of history. But do not be concerned dear reader, I did get a pudding worthy of the G-ds. Masterchef The Professionals was in quarter final mode with a cornucopia of ingredients, including what looked like at least a £1,000 worth of perfectly formed truffles. There was sea food, fish , venison, rabbit, lamb and quail.  Fresh fruit and veg the likes of which make you want to fall on  and shamelessly writhe in. Is this making you hungry? It surely is making me. In order to insure no one is hurt in the reading of this blog, I will reveal that one beef Wellington was overcooked, an innocent rabbit was burned in a pan and some purée was polluted with vanilla pod served in a main?!?! Ben the French lad made the best pudding you will have seen till now on any Masterchef. Secret splosher Greg Wallace declared his pear in a sponge served with marzipan wafer, three raspberries and assorted other lovely bits to be the closest thing to a hug on a plate.  The critics unashamedly wanted to take it home and do unspeakable things to it with their tongues. Even our allegedly icy pro chef , multi Michelin star man was making noises that in no way resembled speech as we know it,  I myself was left in a state of utter ecstasy and I couldn't even taste it.

Needless to say, Ben will compete in the upcoming Semi finals, as for the rest, it was a question of do you put through the great chef who made you wait or the one who killed the Wellington but was on time. I say if a cook makes you wait and it's worth it , the wait is part of the experience. And eventually the panel agreed with me, putting through talented Northerner John from Northumbria who wowed the critics with lamb main and I think the shrimp starter . Nervous Dave and the others could have played a better game, but in the end inexperience and nerves took their toll. Basic mistakes  like not properly shucking beans and putting too many flavours on the plate at the same time, as well one case of murder through cold cucumber soup that ruined an otherwise perfect meal.  It's so easy to make mistakes, but on the level these people are operating on , they cannot afford to be sloppy. All of them have day sous chef jobs IN restaurants, and one is the head chef. Mistakes like burning rabbit and serving said rabbit won't be tolerated in a place were that kind of food doesn't get beyond the pass. Can you tell I'm enjoying this?

Reviews for week two here and finally here, And now week three and week four


Thursday, Nigella, and reviewed here, as well as  the Hairy Bikers are batting against tough Uefa cup competition. Manchester City v Nigella and Si and Dave, Hmmmmm, I know Nigella has her knockers (check in the mail for permission to use oldest joke on earth) and the Hairy Bikers with Mums know best seems be a repeat, but the TV guide is telling me otherwise. We'll see.


I promised you a Chocolate cake recipe yes? Well I'll definitely post it at the week end. In the mean time I strongly urge you to resist that Jafa cake, lovely as it is, and bake something fresh. My wife made us pretzels like they sell in New York and in the streets of old Poland. Cost us next to nowt and we'll be in hot baked heaven for the next few hours .


Till next time when I hopefully tear myself out of the kitchen and hop back into the mystery and mayhem that is comedy and detective crime.

Michael Wood's Story of England or Time Team BBC style

In BBC4's Michael Wood's Story of England, Kibworth plays host to Michael Wood and his Time Team wannabes for several episodes in order to trace the history of all of England through this one prototypical village. One suspects there is more to the choice than mere locale and  it's  near complete set of records going back to the early 1300's. The fact that a famous hoard of pre-Roman coins was found nearby and that it's near the Roman administrative centre of Leicestershire, must have factored heavily.

Before I say anything else, I have to admit to thinking that Tony Robinson was going to show up at any moment and accuse Michael Wood of nicking his gig. In fact the entire programme will likely be a continuous invitation to compare the two programmes. So lets get it out of the way now. Michael Wood is no Tony Robinson, while Baldrick has been doing this a few years over at C4 with sufficiently respectable results, Michael Wood has been wandering the major digs of the world going back to the first time I remember him doing the Helen of Troy story. Both are memorable for different reasons, all of them good. Robinson draws you in with his folksy style and complete lack of fear of embarrassment, while Professor Wood is the prototypical Don with his soft spoken approach that borders on the seductive, I should know, my wife does this sigh thing when he comes on. I'd love to see a Dan snow Michael Wood collaboration one day, that would truly set the ladies hearts fluttering. While Tony Robinson entertains while he informs, Proff. Wood comes off as less excited and more of an academic presenting you with incredibly important information in the nicest way possible, which suits me fine as he's not exactly covering new ground so to speak.

The archaeology is pretty basic, so what separates the two programmes? Not much really, except that in this case the entire town of Kibworth has been asked to dig test trenches in their gardens and front lawns. Clearly there was going to be more than the standard 3 days before the construction crews moved in or the budget ran out. Another curious thing I noted is the bad weather that "dogs" Tony Robinson, seems to have stayed away so far for the Kibworth dig. Michael Wood has not had to get his wellies muddy or have to hide from the elements in a noisy cold damp tent yet. It's early days I hear Tony screaming from somewhere under a tarpaulin. I do have to say for the record that I missed the madder than a bag of wet cats archaeologists from Time Time, Michael's lot seem so well behaved and clean.
 
Has it been compelling? Have I learned anything new? Yes and Yes. while much that was said or shown through voice overed info clips was pretty basic to veteran history enthusiasts, a few bits were new and well presented. We learn of the origin of the name English from the Anglo Saxon's description of them by the Pope. The new chosen people as the Proff told us. Not Angles but Angels. The use of superimposed graphics  very nearly like Time Team, is supplemented by a visit to several locations, one that recreates the life of a typical Anglo Saxon village. It's archaeology porn at it's finest, complete with experts telling us that otherwise unremarkable bits of pottery aren't in fact rocks or dirt, but proof of occupation by one invader or another.

What truly makes this telly hard to turn off, is the number of small children and assorted locals who's enthusiasm for the project shines through. They even get tested to see if they are Viking, Anglo Saxon, Roman or vestigial Welsh speakers. A sleepy village that could have easily been by passed and allowed to stay ignorant of it's past, is now literally getting it's collective hands dirty finding out about itself. During the programme, locals will read written accounts from throughout  the ages and no doubt come across direct blood relatives in the process. How can even the most jaded disreputable youth or bored pensioner be left unmoved after this much effort.

My favourite bit so far has been the Roman burial mound, though not touched in the broadcast, we learn it was the tomb of one of the last pre Roman nobles of the area. What the mound underpins , is the notion that despite many changes and new neighbours, the original inhabitants never actually left. They adapted from one regime to the next.  Anglo Saxons, Vikings and later on Normans ( who we'll see next time we're told) all contributed to the place names and the language spoken in the area without significantly displacing the previous influences.

One dark message in the first episode is the stark warning that with the fall of civilizations , come dark ages that are hard to come out of. This point is hammered home by the loss of Roman technology in 410 AD that would not be equalled before the 18th century. Will we suffer the same fate he asks, when the petrol runs out. I would argue  we already have to some extent, in as much as we are far more dependent on the skills of an increasingly smaller group of technologically gifted individuals and nations, having on a massive scale lost completely, certain previously common skill sets while others are clearly on the endangered list. If tomorrow the electricity and petrol stopped, our civilization is so thoroughly caught in its own technological trap that the very notion of going back to some of the old ways is impossible now. The decent into subsistence farming and crude tools would be rapid and brutal in some places.

I for one will be watching till the end. The prospect of missing out on some new nugget of information is too great. Yes I'm a history anorak and proud of it, and anything that gets an entire community so involved is not a bad thing. Catch up on the iPlayer here, and if you're like me, record it . Follow up review of next episode  from Domesday to the Plague.