Turn Back Time- The High Street: Retail was never tougher than this & Spooks

Now we know what Greg Wallace was doing that one time he skived off Masterchef. He was attending Market day in Shepton Mallet. BBC's long anticipated, at least by me, Turn Back Time- The High Street, kicked off with the Victorian era. Greg Wallace greengrocer and foody, Juliet Gardiner social historian and Tom Herbert baker and food historian with High Street experience, form the "Chamber of Commerce" charged with guiding the participating families through the various eras that will take us all the way through to the era I was born in, the swingeing 60's. I love the concept of this programme, it does for retail what Victorian Farm did for agriculture.

In this series we follow a grocer  a baker, a butcher, and a candlestick maker ( ironmonger ), who must try to attract modern shoppers back to the town market square with old fashioned goods and services. As we'll see, some things never go out of style and others are a bit of a stretch for the modern sensitive Briton. With a combination of advertising, guile and  judicious use of ingredients, these families must try to make a profit by the end of the week. At the end of each week they have a Market Day when they have a last chance to sell off any perishable goods that hadn't moved during the week. Will the people of Shepton Mallet warm to the return of the weekly market or will they continue going out of the way to a big box store? The results will surprise you.

Whatever conceptions you may have had about Victorian retail, romantic or otherwise, they are shattered into a million pieces. While Larkrise to Candleford paints a pretty picture of happy merchants being nice to punters, never dreaming of thinning out quality material for a bit of profit, High Street pulls back the veil to reveal the truth of early High street commerce.  There is a reason we have standards and practices and quality control regulated by government, the imperative to make a profit and avoid the workhouse was enough for many merchants to skip on hygiene, proper ingredients, add poisons or useless fillers like sawdust, plaster of paris,  clay or poisonous alum and be economical with the truth. Oh wasn't it grand when the government stayed out of our business?  Well actually no. People died, got ill, workers lived even rougher than the poor merchants did and clients were generally ripped off.

What was interesting to note in episode one was the modern families taking up the trades, were already modern day practitioners. What they took for granted as normal and they considered as standard for the industry was turned on it's head. Seems that years of state intervention, sociological change in the family unit as well as commercial law, has moved commerce from furtive struggle to get as much for as little possible off un demanding clients to the current high standards and inspections that insure that even the tattiest shop today is still safer for even least careful shopper.

 What hasn't changed is the hard graft required to get raw materials turned into product in the shop window. To the last man woman and child involved, they were early to rise and late to bed. Merchants often shared a single large room over the shop. Working conditions were tougher than now, at least in part down to the fact they had to do everything by hand, had no labour saving devices and water had to be taken from the one pump in the town square. Refrigeration was a nightmare for the butcher if the twice weekly ice delivery wasn't on time, but did serve to inspire butchers to come up with novel quick ways to sell off stock. These included Pease pudding, sausages and pork pies. For the Baker it meant creating demand for product that wasn't always of the best quality or was on the point of becoming too hard to eat. Had they had enough time, I'm sure our bakers would have discovered bread crumbs. Our Ironmonger realized quickly he'd need an apprentice if he was to keep up with orders and sell goods from the shop, and the grocer fell back on home delivery, to insure people got in and out of the shop quickly and still felt they had been served.

So what sacrifices were made this Victorian week. The funniest had to be the Baking family, when the mum who is the master baker in 2010 had to stand back and let her husband take over duties. She found it hard to hold back and he found it hard to take advice. His first batch of 25 horribly burned, salty,  and under baked loaves was a complete disaster that cost them money and taught them the need to understand the materials at hand. With help they learned to add filler to the bread, which in this case was rice, not a bad thing, but could have been much worse. Alum, sawdust and far worse was put into bread to manage expensive flour. Baker Steven Oxford showed how authentic Victorian bread was made and uttered the phrase" Have you ever licked wallpaper before?" to describe the experience of eating it. Dry heavy and nasty, it's no wonder Victorian Farm Ruth Goodman was keen to make her own bread, which of course is what farm wives did in fact do. Later on they moved into 1870 and new lighter easier to use flour, producing a tastier and easier to make bread.

Our grocer and his family was struck by the lack of goods we assume should be a staple of any such shop, mayonnaise, fresh fruit and crisps. The rest all had to be made, wrapped and delivered to customers by cart. Eggs, butter, cheese, jams and veg were seasonal and had none off the preservatives that lurk in our food now. Perhaps the greatest adjustment was for the butcher, who had to re introduce the art of entertaining punters while making sausages and cutting meat. There's a reason why good food retailers until recently were such great showmen. You needed to to do everything you could to get customers to YOUR shop. The best stunt was the giant cheese, a massive round of cheddar brought in special for market day. It was the star of the show and was advertised with sandwich board and loudspeaker! the worst thing to happen wasn't the burned bread, but the burned pork pies left alone in the baker's oven while ALL the men were down the pub. On reflection, you had to see this coming, but I suspect no self respecting butcher would have left his pies untended like that back in the day.

The biggest challenge in this programme easily had to got to the ironmonger. He had the doubly hard job of selling what he himself called  "a pile of useless old tat". Today we would call him the hardware store and buy a variety of goods like lamps, tools and fencing material. Just how was he going to make any money at all? Turns out it was one of the most profitable enterprises in the experiment. He first spend a great deal of time catering to the needs of the High Street merchants then on market day , he sold an incredible amount of candles and candle holders. As for the useless old tat, lots of it went as well.

Quality over reputation was the balance and choice that had to be made by our families, see for yourself how well they did, but all in all I would say they came out well and the people of Shepton Mallet came to appreciate the experience. The biggest joy among shoppers over the age of 10 seemed to be the discovery that they enjoyed market day, not least because they could talk to friends and take it easy an experience you can still have in any ethnic neighbourhood you visit. It's the modern rushed suburban consumer of today that has forgotten the joy of what it meant to shop on a high street. What really struck me was the finickiness of the  ill informed people who turned their noses up at bread with lard in, or were put off by the sight of cured meats hanging outside the shop. One little girl made a remark about how that was why she wanted to be a vegetarian. Well honey, even veg was dirty once, and just what DID YOU think goes into your food? The direct connection between source and finished product was on display in the High Street for all to see. I grew up in this and to this day do not feel offended by the sight of lung or pig's trotters, nor do I find it an alien concept to include animal fat in my baked goods.  Modern folk are cut off from their food and  have sanitized their lives and eating habits to such an extent that the Briton of 1870 would not recognize them as English. For more information on the programme, click here.

Spooks fans, it's down to one last ep before the current series ends. Sad news ladies, seems Lucas North is not who seems to be, in fact he's not even Lucas North. Will he redeem himself? will he save the world yet again? Will he die in the attempt to pay for his sins?  Yes , yes and most probably! Harry Pierce and his agents are lured into a chase for the real killers who planted a bomb in the British embassy 15 years ago. Vaughan tries to sell Harry Pierce the information with Lucas in full view. What secrets is Lucas North hiding, what is the awful truth he so wants to avoid getting out? If you watched, you know, If you didn't,I'm not telling you, but it was cracking good fun. The quality of the writing this series has been head and shoulders above last year's and I liked that series as well, despite it's low ratings. What has happened this year is simply that the characters are that much more compelling and from the first ep, it was obvious Lucas was going to be in trouble.

What a rotter you say, a scoundrel and a bounder and a cad. But I suspect we'll be seeing the sort of end you give to tragic heroes in stories of old. That great speech in which he comes clean, the moment he betrays the bad guys and put's pay to the Chinese plot to do something nasty capped by his ultimate sacrifice in a heroic bid to save his mates, or even his cold killing at the end by a vengeful Vaughan, a ticked off spy, or an inconsolable Maya. Any way it goes, it's sure to be a heartbreaking bit of telly.

Ruth's story is also picking up pace and leading to something dreadful, I doubt she'll be killed, but clearly there is going to be a heavy price paid for her current emotional tumult. We know she will be deeply involved next week in the denouement  of the Lucas story line, just how it will play out will determine how many funerals we'll be watching in the last 5 minutes and just what cliff hanger they leave us on

Dear readers, I accidentally switched over to ITV2 during "The only way is Essex". After about 5 minutes I turned it off fearing for my sanity should I watch it any longer. These people vote? They are allowed to carry on reproducing and living among us?  Lord help us if any of these glakes gets near a position of responsibility, but no how could a bunch of vacuous, spray tanned, Visigoths get anywhere near power?  Shhh don't tell me I know, the PM is one of them isn't he?

Masterchef The Professionals 2010: And the winner is.....Plus Whites wraps up

You could look at the bottom or you already know, but if you didn't watch, you won't know just how bloody brilliant the 2nd half of the Final was. It started with the usual half time show where we learn the full names and the back stories of our chefs, You'd already know most of that if you read earlier today's blog. Did you know Claire is pregnant according to the local Liverpool paper? Well she is. So there, now the warm and fuzzy bit is over, all you need to take from that is that these three are devoted to the idea of cooking as a life's work.

Watch this episode online

So the commentary booth disappears and the teams form up in the tunnel.....and our cookery gladiators walk out on the pitch. Surrounded by millions of watching on telly, David, Claire and John are told they are cooking for the annual gathering of the Michelin starred ones. 30 of the best chefs in Europe are all in one room, three of them are three star chefs. Put another way, if a bomb went off, the fine dining world of the UK and Europe would be devastated for at least 10 years. This now traditional gathering of the clan chiefs, is now ready to chew up and spit out our three amigos for the smallest misstep. How will they fare? The whistle blows and Michel reveals the three dishes on the menu for tonight.

David has the starter of salmon sashimi with crispy skin. A complex dish to prepare that tests a number of his problem areas and pushes his comfort levels with new ingredients and cooking styles.


Claire gets the main of Pan fried mullet with potato scales and asparagus created by Chef Paul Bocuse. This tricky dish has so many places where a ny number things can go wrong, only a truly talented and brave chef will take this one on for a crowd of 30 hungry Michelin starred chefs.



John, lastly closes the evening off with a dessert of assiette de framboise.... or plate of raspberries...You know none of this sounds the remotest bit posh to me as I speak, and read French like a native. But it does simply matters for me when I have to figure out the mangled form of a French word that has come down to us over decades or in some cases centuries. Like tweels for example... spelt tuiles or tiles. So John has to master his time issues and make sure the various creams set, biscuits don't burn and the like. I've done some of these , but not all of them at the same time... it takes a brave soul to tackle this and it's been chosen to see if John has learned anything or taken on board the advice given him.


And the ball is in play..... David forgets to scale his fish causing him to fall back and loose control early. He then forgets to remove the bloodline from the fish after recovering from his first mistake, not that it cost him much as he was picking up pace and calming down, he even had the wherewithal to do a test prawn  before he committed to an entire batch of potentially badly wrapped spaghetti pastry.

Claire was effortlessly handling the the bone pinning and other preparations, being the one who may well have shown David the example by doing a test mullet with too thick potato scales. 180 asparagi? asparguses? in the end were not a problem, but one or two may have not been completely cooked the satisfaction of a few of the gliterati. On the whole , she moved like George Best and dodged trouble like Thiery Henri at his best when he was at Arsenal.

South Shields John got a case of the Brambles and made a complete hash of the tuiles  needing to make a whole 2nd batch as the first was too thick and did not set then avoided na own goal by reducing by half the required amount of shortbreads from 60 to 30.  And as if the football analogy wasn't already playing in my head Michel Roux comes in and yells "One hour to kick off!" It was particularly nice to note the cooperation typical of Masterchef finalists during  service.

And so Masterchef FC leave their half and go on the attack. David principally but with the cooperation of fellow contestants  plates up his starter  and the servers stream out to see how well 30 Michelin starred chefs and a former Michelin guide director take to the food.......It's a blistering goal from midfield Wayne Rooney like. Good flavours, nicely seasoned, one chef said it was not as neat as it could have been. OOOOO so the food was good and it wasn't scruffy. Derek Brown formerly if the Michelin guide  says well done!

Next in was Claire and her main, well plated and well sauced,  her fish hits the Michelin crowd with a hard smack and despite the odd bit of Asparagus not being cooked to satisfaction, the plates come back empty. Resident Edinburgh special person, Tom Kitchin  speaks for the chefs when he tells Claire it's not an easy dish and "Well done , it's perfect"

Last few minutes and the dessert has to get out and John sends food from the basement to the main kitchen for assembly and he's not later. Despite a school boy error of not setting the biscuits with a bit of jam to the plate initially, John recovers. The finished product hat enters the dining room was worthy of the crowd in appearance and the only real complaint was that a few of the tuiles were  not as crisp as they could have been. The soufflé was  perfect  and again we had empty plates. The Michelin spokesman tells John "Most of the room were pleased they didn't have to make that dish as they themselves find it difficult.  Congratulations".

So with the the big game played and no obvious howlers, there's still little separating the three. Though as I said last night, this morning, Claire looked least faulty and most naturally talented of the three. Put this way, if  Top Gear were testing three great cars, a German one, an Italian one and an English one, they'd all be pretty good, but most of us would gladly go off in the most efficient one of the lot. In cooking terms, Claire had the efficiency and the pretty in one package. Only thing was, that the distance between her and David was so slim that all he needed was one brilliant  performance to zoom past her. What Claire needed to happen was that the other two would maintain form, which of course they did most predictably in the Michelin banquet.

It was down  to penalties with loads of chances for any or all of them to miss a shot. Greg and Michelle set them the task to create one final meal consisting of three spectacular dishes. Could David make that absolute stunner of a triple perfection, would John finally get all his ducks in a row and on time? Or would reliable cuddly and creative Claire nose them both out in the end?

John took the field first and presented his starter of lobster, mango and basil. He managed to make a bland avocado salad. His turbot celeriac with truffles was ever so slightly over it was still perfect followed by the chocolaty rich light and tasty pud that had his second miss of grainy ice cream. That's two misses if you're counting.

Claire produced an elegant  appealing  well cooked trout wit apple, even her mistake of allowing the apple to take away some of the flavour of the fish was delicious. Her main of wood pigeon, peas and spuds was "salivatory". Both Michel and Greg were reduced to guttural noises that spoke volumes about just how good her main was.Only dessert remained and Claire was ruthless here as well. White chocolate mouse with raspberries and thyme jelly. Greg's reaction summed it up.... "That's the sort of thing I would dip my head in mate". Not only did Claire convert every shot, she had humiliated the goal keeper. BTW, who else agrees with me that Greg Wallace is a closet splosher?

What could David do to counter this spectacular display? Mackerel tartar that looked clever  and tasted good, it left Michel wanting more. I need to point out that there is nothing original or clever about combining a pickle with raw fish, it's standard in Polish cuisine and you can buy jars of the stuff in any delicatessen, His main of Chicken morel pie was no ordinary chicken pie, it was de constructed. A real attempt to raise the game. Chef Michel was so impressed he said "I love when I see new things" Greg followed with more yummy noises as he ate his bit of the plate.  Nearly there David.  Just the dessert of hot chocolate mouse with rice crispy layer. Rich intense and outstanding craftsmanship, nearly there David... "Pity it has such a poor visual aspect"..... damn!  Oh well David you tried and nearly got there.

If we are to finish the football analogy, Claire was Germany, efficient and technically perfect and she was also Brazil, pretty and boastful and hard not to admire. John was England circa 2010 and David ? That brilliant African side that very nearly made it. In the end there could only be one winner. and that was Claire Lara.

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Recipes for all dishes prepared in theMasterchef Professionals series can be found using the link in Masterchef Tab

Alan Davies Whites, wrapped up series on right after Masterchef. In the 2nd of two parts in which Bib has decided to leave for a better life in Australia, Roland is listlessly trying too hire a new sous chef, his interview skills are comically bad and  he knows he's out of his depth.  On the night of the hotel talent show for staff, most everybody seems to be depressed or on the verge of succumbing to lust or maybe love. Problem is that the men are too clueless to notice.  In  two scenes that are telling of what it means to work that closely together with somebody, Roland confesses that his life is empty, the business has sucked him dry. And after much tentative tooing and froing, the two men declare their love for each other ( in a brotherly way) the way men admit they are best mates and they have a bond deeper than any mere beer induced camaraderie. These two business partners and friends come to realize on the one hand Roland sees Bib is a real friend and an asset, and on the other other hand, Bib realizes he really doesn't want his friendship to end that way. Even Skoose has his moment where he knows he's a twat and should be nicer. The subsequent moment of honesty when he's told he's not ready to be sous chef is all the more painful. There are some great sight gags, the elephant in the room and Caroline carrying the weight of the world much like Atlas. There is particular vulnerability about Caroline in fact this time. Even when she is playing with helium, it interferes with her moment to say goodbye to Bib. In the end Bib stays and all is ok, a happy ending of sorts. Just enough tension left for writers to pick up on in a 2nd series should it be commissioned, and if not? It answered just enough questions to make you feel less bad if they never make another episode of Whites. I hope of course for more, but only the adult sitcom boffins deep within the bowels of the BBC know what happens next.

Catch up the series while you can
Thank you BBC for a brilliant evenings telly, now if only every night could be this good.

Masterchef The Professionals: Finals week part one

Before we start, I think it's time we took a longer look at the contestants left standing and come to a few conclusions. Claire Lara of Liverpool, she is currently a tutor at Liverpool Community College. John Calton of South Shields works at the Duke of Wellington pub, in Newton, Northumberland. And lastly Dave Coulson of Wingate, head chef at the Eden Castle Inn, in Hartlepool. All fine chefs who deserve to take the title of Masterchef Professional 2010. Despite the fact that most of the cooking is taking place in that London, it's clear from the number of Northerners who applied and who ultimately lasted till the very end, that London is no longer the belly button of British cookery it thinks it is. Between rustic traditional cooks like the Hairy Bikers and the number of restaurants featured on Ramsay's best Restaurant  this year and last, on top of the finalists of Masterchef, the North of England and particularly the North East have risen in stature. Some Southern media may be surprised and think the North East is punching above it's weight, but that's just them not being aware food of any quality is cooked north of a tank of petrol from London. In fact the region is a culinary gem that now seems to be getting the attention it so richly deserves.

Read Part two and how the winner got there 

Masterchef Professionals Finals week starts with a visit from Pierre Hermé renowned pastry chef.  A demi-G-d of patisserie Greg tells us opportunities don't get bigger than this. He'll have to take it easy on the hyperbole, as you'll see the calibre of challenges ahead is headier and headier.  This go around our trio have to emulate three of Chef Hermé's classic pastries.

John has to make Tarte Vanille. For this one there are three different kinds of vanilla used to create the unique flavour. 

Claire, Emulsion Magnifique, 7 pages of recipe dear readers, for one pastry. That's a lot of work.

And David Desiré Composition

All of these involve an immense amount of skill for each component and assembly. For the judging, helping out will be Cherish Finden from the Langham and Heston Blumenthal's own pastry point man James Petrie. Surely a heavy hitter line up of people to impress as well as the creator of the dishes himself. From here in the cooking will have to be flawless.

John's pastry was not even close to standard and parts were runny and the glaze had not set. Sadly, yet again, John was beset by timing issues. Despite all this, it tasted great.

Claire declared her entire dish very fiddly but succeeded so well that Chef Pierre declared "I could sell it like this in my shop".

David's work looked perfect  but was a bit over baked, however his layers were even and well put together. Good for a 1st ever attempt.

Back at Masterchef HQ it was time to create a trio of desserts for Greg and Chef Roux.

Claire produced a  crumble that had Greg in ecstasy just looking at it, a divine rhubarb jelly and a crème patisserie...  Her string of brilliant cooking continued with another clean sheet of results.

David surprised by making his mam's own banana bread but also dipped in butterscotch sauce for extra kick, his chocolate Crème Brulée  had not set so it was runny  but tasty, lastly his chocolate crème patisserie  was elegant and near 100% faultless.

John who made a massive attack of chocolate started with a perfect fondant followed by a mouse described as nearly like a truffle, ending with a devilish white chocolate soup that was brilliant and imaginative. Dropping all pretence, Greg was unable to hide his delight at the food he wanted to have all to himself.

And so now on to Copenhagen, Denmark and  the best restaurant in the world. NOMA , opened in 2004, taking it's current title from previous holder, Heston Blumenthal's Fat Duck. It's philosophy is based on the notion of Nordic foraging based cuisines that are seasonal and local. Chef René Redzepi prides himself on plates of food that show the connection between nature and the plate of food, he'll be expecting the same from our finalists, looking for a reflection of how the food looked in nature. Remember what I said about fine dining in the last article? I would eat this food with delight and be prepared to pay the asking price. Here is a concept I can wrap my head around. Before Claire, John and David can cook a single thing they are taken on a foraging expedition  to discover the hidden treasure that grows in plain site. Along with the treasures they collected, they are expected to cook a white perch.

John cooked the fish two ways, pan fried and in a tartar (I would know it as gefilte fish). While Chef René liked both dishes, he did not think they belonged on the same plate. In fact he suggested he would consider putting the pan fried on the menu it was that good.

Claire prepared the fish pickled in vinegar and a salad of wild flowers. Described as delicious fish  that was refreshing and juicy, Claire was rightly pleased with herself.

David created fish poached in butter with wild flowers. I t looked nice , was well cooked even  having lovely crispy skin. The only element that didn't work was the ground elder. Close to perfection, it was clean and direct.

Day 2 dawned and our finalists were told they would each have to cook a starter and a main from the menu for the some of the best chefs in Denmark and selected NOMA regulars. Unlike a lot of restaurants, NOMA chefs have to finish plating the food in front of guests. For already nervous David and shy Claire, this may prove too much.

John was assigned the bone marrow starter with a Danish pork neck main. Greg Wallace and Chef Roux declared his cooking exquisite.

Claire got the King crab and leek in which ash is used as a spice and a main of Pike perch with celeriac Truly amazing said our judges.

David made the Tartar of beef with wood sorrel, a signature dish, and Arctic Muskox served with beetroot and bone marrow sauce. Were moved to exclaim he had done brilliantly well.

As for the Danish chefs and regulars, with few exceptions, they thought the food coming out of the kitchen was entirely up to standard and mostly could not be differentiated from the regular kitchen staff. If one was to sum up now before we got back to London, Claire was still marginally ahead of her two other rivals, but only just so. All three produced fine dining quality food of the first order and could easily have have been just as valid choices for winner should the contest have stopped now. As it is there was still plenty of road between the chefs and the final decision.

On returning to London, Greg and Michel set one more invention test to see what our hopefuls had learned. 2 hours and the usual choice of fresh ingredients most of us can only dream of.

Claire made a starter of Red Mullet and Spider Crab with fennel. It looked nice, her seasoning was spot on, stunning , a complete dish of Michelin star quality.  She then presented roast rump of Hogget while full of bags of flavour, it was chewy as the Hogget was rushed.

John cooked Pan fried scallops with a quail egg and fresh peas.  great combo, but his peas should have been removed form the skin.  His main of Roast breast of Duck and Duck sausage tasted great but was scruffy looking as it had been piled on in a heap. Yet again timing issues had affected his cooking and plating cost him and otherwise tasty well presented dish.

Lastly David made Confit Salmon that was light, elegant and well cooked. A touch of NOMA said Michel.  His Main was Lamb en croute with wild garlic, morels and broccoli. While the lamb was a bit overdone, Michel paid David the greatest compliment by saying he had learned something today. Brilliant, absolutely brilliant said Greg.

If we had trouble finding daylight between the the three in Denmark, it had just gotten even harder. Even now I'm hard pressed to tell you with absolute confidence who I think should win.  Later tonight we'll find out and may the best chef win.

EDIT: The Winner was Claire Lara, details soon as I finish the review! 

Catch up the entire series of Masterchef Professionals here.

Try the recipes from the entire series posted by chef 

Masterchef The Professionals: 8 become 3 and Alan Davies Whites hots up

Ohhhh it gets exciting now doesn't it cookery fans! Top quality chefs and top quality food, and the winner is .....US. I'll be doing a some research at the week end to add the best recipes over the current series to my Masterchef tab.

EDIT: Reviews for Finals week Part 1 and part 2 

And now without further delay, Masterchef professionals semi final week.

Monday, first we have to reduce 8 to 6, and that's done by doing a final invention test allowing 80 minutes for the remaining chefs to come up with something brilliant. Something that will raise the bar proove with certainty they are worthy of moving on . For this stage, Greg Wallace took a day off set, probably to have a conjugal visit with some long neglected dessert plate at home. In his place stepped in Monica Galetti with sufficient gravitas and striking terror into the faces of the contestants who had though they were through with her.


Geordie David presented next with his Roast chicken and Yorkshire pudding. The plate was arty in presentation and the chicken was butchered to allow three kinds of roasting. As the different styles were succesfull , the only thing that let down our boy was his Yorkshire pudding that was flat and listless. In the end, a lot of skill was on display and it tasted good.

Weepy Stacey did a duo of lamb with parsnip puree and beetroot. It was judged to be well seasoned and prety. However her beetroot was underdone and crunchy. As Polish man,I can tell it's not that hard to make properly sturdy but smooth beetroot.

French Ben prepared a char grilled rack of lamb, using a pressure cooker for some of the lamb. A risky move if it doesn't work, but as it happens ...some parts let him down with rare rack of lamb  but well done braised lamb.

Liverpool Claire cooked pan fried mackarel that was 99 out of a 100 for Michel Roux. A flawless dish of food that was both pretty and tasty.

John took the Provençal route of roast lamb with a ratatouille twist. Dull and without finesse, what it lacked in appearance, it made up for in taste with it's olive tapanada and finely cooked lamb. Monica  loved it.

 Matthew with his ballantine of chicken leg duck with hearts and other assorted goodies.He had so much going on that he ruined his food with too much sugar.

Lee's roast monk fish was perfect, tasty and good looking, I want some even now, but his ginger was a step too far.

Alice was last to go doing a lovely cod, frogs legs, and chirizo foam. A fun plate of food, I do hope she stops banging on about girl chefs, like she's still 12.

Even I knew who the two people with a one ticket home were.... Stacey with her crunchy beets and Matthew of the heavy sugar hand. At this level of the competition, there was no room for simple school boy errors like that. Stacey culd have saved herslf simply bu not plating the beets. But here are the ratings for the record.

1- Claire most complete
2- David showed most skill
3- Alice showed off her palette
4- John who made a flavour party

The rest were bottom feeding and they knew it. So much for Monday, let us move on to Tuesday and the first of two head to head battles between mostly top contenders.  Gregg btw is back from whatever food tryst he had on the day before.

Claire and Ben  had to go to Edinburgh and cook for Tom Kitchin, arguably one of the city's most demanding chefs, his restaurant The Kitchin exudes modern but serves the best traditional food. Ben had the seared scallops and asparagus three ways while Claire was charged with rump of lamb crisp potato and peas. The best way to sum up the experience is that Ben cried, Tom Kitchin stepped in and dressed his plate but not before he warned that any ruined scallops were coming out of Ben's pocket. On the whole Claire held her own and showed she belonged in that kitchen, while Ben was fraying at the edges and loosing his French cool.  After that, both had to reproduce Chef's bone marrow made three ways. A difficult job, especially if you've never worked with bone marrow. Ben produced  Michelin star seasoning on the first  then was ok followed by bland by the time he got to toast.   Claire followed the same route running out of bone marrow by the third dish.   

Step two was back at Master chef HQ, they had 90 minutes to showcase everything they had learned from the experience in Edinburgh. Ben John Dory with spinach with a dessert of fried banana and ice cream to Claire's goat cheese ravioli and Calf liver main  Each excelled at one thing but were let down by another, so the choice was hard in the end. Which to choose, gorgeous ice cream or  perfect goat cheese ravioli? Based on previous form, Claire going through was the right result.  But in the end , both were brilliant and are an asset to anybody who hires them.

Round two of the elimination rounds was Alice v John who travelled to the Whatley Manor's The Dinning room, with it's classic look and refined atmosphere. Here in contrast to the Victorian décor, the food is out there on the edges of strange. Little wonder the presiding lunatic in charge is Chef Martin Birch, a self confessed sufferer of OCD.  This madman is obseesed with perfection and pushing the envelope.

Young chef of the year Alice was charged with the roasted beef fillet and even got a food critic while poor John was saddled with pigeon loin that had to be laid on perfectly laid down lines of sauce. John who at the best of times has accuracy issues, was flustered beyond belief. TBH, I didn't see anything wrong with half the plates of lines Martin Birch rejected.  This escaped mental patient was a punishment no one deserved. But it gets better people, and by that I mean it gets worse, much worse. The recreation test shown  on Wednesday, called for a praline and chocolate soufflé. I very nearly wanted to murder this man  at this point....John's effort was qualified as Spot on, well cooked, tasty, excellent quinelling skills, presentation nice.....It was almost good enough to serve. I tell you there was no difference from what the chef expected and what he got, but somehow it wasn't good enough to serve! Just how much better did this maniac want things????? Poor Alice who had until then been enjoying her stay in the mad house, was told her soufflé was not high enough, undercooked and her quinnells were scruffy, truth be told , he was right.

Back at HQ, the battle continues with Alice conjuring fillet of beef and langoustine with a chocolate praline cake.While her main was well platerd  and tasted good the surf portion just didn't seem to impress Michel or Greg. Her pudding was considered too heavy and not poncy enough , Short of a disaster, John was going through on his Sea bass with fennel and warm ginger cake for pudding. The main had exquisite colours, great tasting with a wonderful dressing, well worth the wait of a few extra minutes. Again his dessert was colourful but heavy and the cake was dismissed as not being worthy of haute cuisine. Is it possible Chef Roux is not a cake fan? Most likely, my uncle lived in Paris for 25 years and was more into delicately stuffed tubes , and small multi-layered gateaux filled with creams and thin crispy dough. Milles feuilles, petits four, cornets, custard tartelettes  I need to stop now.... Where was I? Ah yes the winner... Alice was sent home leaving John to rejoin us in the finals coming up next week.

Heat three pitted Geordie David (wor lad he is) v Lee. I have to admit my bias here and now, sweaty nervous David is my favourite after Big lass Claire. Our chefs first needed to get to The Ledbury in Notting Hill, yes that Notting Hill... where seasonal cuisine chef Brett Graham rules the roost. I like the idea of Chef Graham but I'm not so sure about the actual plating of the food,which resembles something from an art museum and less food to be eaten and enjoyed with tongue. Don't get me wrong, presentation is terribly important, but I still want to feel that my main "was enough food". David was assigned the flamed grilled mackerel and Lee the new lamb and artichokes.  David shoke some but managed to get through the day without too much incident, as opposed to Lee who frankly cocked it up first serving raw meat then overdone meat. Clearly he let his nerves get him and he could not tell when when meat was medium. Now they had to recreate the house speciality green sad with parmesan custard, truffles and pheasant egg. This warm salad looked lush and if I could afford the ingredients I'd make it. David made what was called a natural looking salad which was perfectly cooked.... simple and too the point.  Lee presented nicely as well , and his salad was cooked perfectly. but failed to shell the egg. Not much separated these two on the test but the clear winner on the day was David with fewer mistakes during service, while cooking an admittedly incredibly complex dish that could have gone wrong at a number of points.

HQ time and David created scallops on potato pancakes, then pork loin wrapped in Parma ham, braised pig cheeks on mash with a tofee apple that Greg was afraid would not work, and Lee did pan fried mullet in saffron and garlic puree and lime posset for desert. Reaction to Lee, was that it was well cooked but overpowered by wild garlic ( I love garlic, so I would not have complained) His lime posset was fine dining exemplified with Greg in hog heaven grunting in a corner. David's starter of pork loin was fine dining and made Greg giddy happy, it was so good he compared it to a plate of presents.  On the back of the full evidence, our boy was chosen over Lee who had the good  sense to say he was chuffed to have got that far. Now if only we can do the same to the Mackems in the derby, I'll be over the moon!

So we have Claire, John and David in the finals next week. If I had to choose on the strength of only what we know now, I'd be giving the prize to Claire right now, but as we know, championships are won and lost on the oddest of things. Like football, cookery is a funny old game.

Is fine dining still relevant? Now I don't want to sound like I'm biting the hand that feeds me so to speak,  but  fine dining does seem to take the piss sometimes. Does food always have to be so plated that you cannot imagine that the chef  was ever thinking of your stomach or without thinking he had an eye on your wallet and just how much he was going to lighten it by. The loony in Edinburgh and even The Ledbury lead me to question if  they are worth the high price tags. Clearly they are places to be seen in and not so much about the food itself. I'm not impressed by foams  or perfect lines of miniature scallops shaped like eyes on a bed of cat sick. I love food, to eat it, to taste it , to have my fill. If eyes were the only sense needing satisfaction, a picture of a steaming cup of tea  would suffice. If I'm going to give up that much money for food, It had better be more than just bizzaro art on a plate.

And now for the digestif. Alan Davies and Whites, is now one ep away from closing it's current run on the BBC. If we are to judge based solely on the quality of the programme, it will be renewed, but if we just trust the ratings, it could be in trouble. I suppose playing it earlier than half eleven could help, so perhaps the ratings won't be such an drag on the recommissioning. Regardless, barring the sperm episode which was weak, Whites had gone from strength to strength. In this fifth ep, we are in part one of two in which the conflict between Bib (Darren Boyd) and Skoose (Steven Wight) is but a provocation that leads to all out war with Rolland. Without giving it all away, Rolland, who has never been the sensitive kind and rarely shown any generosity towards rivals real or imagined, truly gets up Bib's nose this time. Rolland is invited on Sunday Chef, the thinly disguised Saturday Kitchen, when somebody gets hurt in an toy helicopter incident. Should he take Bib or mental midget Scoose? Who will make him look better? Scoose of course, this leaves Bib free to run the kitchen as the head chef for the day... Should he be flattered by the offer to move to Oz that results??? Should he show loyalty to his alleged friend Rolland?  His determination and judgement are strongly tested and he decides to set up a finale worthy of Doctor who.  Speaking of Doctor Who, Kiki does a brilliant imitation of the Who theme, I will get the youtube clip if it exists. Now even if you knew how it turns out, the point of a good comedy is to also have a strong supporting cast with lovely little gems scattered throughout the script. Besides the Kiki Who hum, we get some great lines like "Why don't you just get naked and wrestle" or the vanity of the "it's not purple it's foxglove" when Rolland dresses like a clown to be on Sunday Chef. Here's a scary thought, if Kiki and Scoose had children, how stupid would they be?

Enjoy the week end and don't eat any undercooked liver !