We shall fight them on the editorial pages

We shall fight them on the blogosphere and we shall fight them in public opinion. The Con-Dem government nobody voted for is now clearing the way for an attack on the very institution that makes Britain the jewel in the English speaking broadcast crown. They are greasing the track for a mass raid on talent, money and Corporation facilities to be handed over to the private sector. This same private sector that has stopped short of showing us extensive coverage of Katie Price's vagina, the same private sector that has reduced the intellect required to watch most programmes in the last 5 years to charvs who cannot spell and aren't even sure how to boil water.

Clearly the content on offer at BBC1, BBC2, BBC3 and BBC4 , all fulfil the needs of different parts of the watching public. They each in their own way cater to or pander to specific demographics. But the vast majority of the content is at least based on the desire to inform, entertain and expand the mind of viewers.  If the private sector was able to do this , then there would be no need to have the BBC. But clearly the most cursory scan of the television schedule on any day of the week reveals a sad picture of American programmes, copies of American programmes and charv culture in such abundance you could be forgiven if you thought no one had graduated school in ten years.

My own viewing habits are a case in point. The following is a list of programmes I have deemed worthy of my time. Programmes I have in some cases gone out of my way to see they are so good. See how many of them aren't on the BBC.

Doctor Who, Spooks, Torchwood, Victorian Farm, Eggheads, Mongrels, Rev, Graham Norton, Coronation Street, Midsommer Murders, Top Gear, Mock The Week, You've been watching, 8 out of 10 cats, Secret Diaries of a call girl, Luther, Jonathan Creek, Qi, The Bubble, Private life of Chickens, Proms, Big Bang Theory,  Look North, Question time,The Mentalist, Time Team, The entire BBC4 nature and science output for the last year, Raymond Blanc secrets, Master Chef, Jamie Oliver, Gordon Ramsay, Outnumbered, Joanna Lumley cats/Nile, The week long programme about a car crash investigation, The IT crowd, Doc Martin, Coast, The entire BBC history of the sea season, Dunkirk, The World Cup on BBC. I can go on, but the point would be that outside of a handful of programmes  outside the BBC, I can safely say that I would not be sad to see C5 go the way of the dodo or see C4 be absorbed into the BBC.  ITV has become a parody if itself, foregoing quality for cheap programmes aimed at the same demographic Big Brother was made for. BBC Television does for people what any decent national television network should do. Is it perfect?  Big Top and the Pursuasionists are proof even they make the occasional mistake. But at the end of the day, our telly would be that much poorer without the BBC we know.

The iPlayer, is perhaps the best thing since the invention of the wheel, without being accused of hyperbole. Being able to catch up on programmes  conveniently sorted by name, genre and station is the best way to get some shows a greater audience. The iPlayer is a perfect tool to get maximum bang for the money spent on BBC product. Any move to limit the use or support of the iPlayer should be viewed with  deep suspicion.

The BBC website and news division are integral to the way most people gather news and has a reputation of honesty and accuracy most other news organizations would love to have. To target the news and sports division for selling off and dismantling is destroying a journalistic tradition that goes back so far that most people at the Sun, friends of the government and certain other papers would have to work their way up for a decade to merely come close to that level of quality. Does anybody seriously take Sky news as a credible source for news? Since when is cynical thinly veiled right wing propaganda news?  There is little wonder we are seeing the rise of the BNP/EDL hate mongers among the young and impoverished school leavers too stupid to read for themselves or check facts. Sky has been spoon feeding this lot with enough paranoia and fear to fuel a decade or lunacy. The service provided by the BBC website as a whole is greater than any measure of economy that could be brought to bear on a few highly paid executives and talent. We get our news, we get our base information on everyday things, we get a relatively quick update of information so finely tuned that if somebody farts in an interesting way in Durham, it will be posted and findable with little difficulty. I could say I'm not pleased with the facelift of the BBC news section, but I'll give it a week to prove me wrong. At it's core it's still the same BBC I count on every day of the week.

National and local radio is another place the Beeb has a definitive place in the broadcast landscape. We are surrounded by stations trying to sell us the same top 40 pap with the occasional new x factor bint or himbo breaking the monotony of safe inoffensive drivel that appeases secretaries , housewives and 12 year girls. Where else will you hear new cutting edge music, radio drama and comedy, short audio documentaries and intellectual content Magic and Galaxy will never go near. How else will regional acts not lucky enough to get on Virgin radio get a shot at stardom or at least being heard by  a group bigger than 30 people. When was the last time you heard Elgar on the drive time show. As for the new music, some of which I despise btw, it's like what I want to hear now but can't due to the top 40 storm, it was once cutting edge and new. Local and national outlets of the BBC owe it to the artists that struggle to get heard and should give them as much freedom of access as can be granted. For every Alaxardra Burque who warbles her way to fame on the back of Darth Cowell, there are thousands of artists of every kind who are more deserving of exposure, but are lucky to be heard at all. Whole genres of music depend on the continued help of the BBC to be heard and remain vital living art forms. From Celtic to Bhamra If it weren't for the BBC, it wouldn't be played on mainstream radio or telly.


One last and at least as important thing the BBC does. Without the BBC, regional content and culture and the culture of those who chose to settle in Great Britain would not be reflected. Left to it's own devices, ITV and other private channels would have created a white London centric identity that would have eventually washed away any trace of the regional and replaced it with Westminster English. I know I know , the BBC had it's own role in this as well, but wisely was smart enough to recognize when it was wrong. Today the mandate of the BBC should be recognized and affirmed as the torch bearer of British culture and history, it should be the voice of superlative journalism and the place to see Cricket, Rugby and football without having to subscribe to the special Sky sports pack.

What precisely is bothering the BBC haters like Jeremy Hunt? Competition, alleged unfair competition, Is it so wrong to pay talent a proper wage? How much money is wasted on Piers Morgan or Peter Andre. How much is Jeremy Kyle taking home?  Clearly enough to continue putting out the dreck they do. So why shouldn't talented people like Wossy or Norton or David Mitchell be paid a wage that will keep them at the BBC?  You want quality, you need to pay for it. Can there be some economies? Of course, every place can do it, but  taking a machete to The Beeb, is just criminal. During the war my father listened to broadcasts of music, comedy and drama that kept his and the minds of millions of people off the day to day misery that was life under the threat of bombs. Today the Beeb educates, entertains and gives hope to all kinds from University of the air to how to grow your own drugs.

So who exactly is benefiting from this attack on the BBC?  The private sector, the sector that would have you believe there is only one culture, one view, one demographic and one Britain worth broadcasting to and informing.   It's going to be a long summer, and when the  savages are at the gates, we'll need to be ready to keep the damage to a minimum. Is the BBC worth the money spent on it?  A  BIG FAT YES.

Paul the Octopus to join MOTD and other shocking news

Wellllllllllll who knew I could be bested by a mollusc?  I mean what do years of watching football , instinct and knowledge  mean  when you just let an escaped English octopus pick teams at random from his home in Germany and he gets it right every time????!!!!!!  Just sack them all , In fact, why even play the matches, Paul will tell us who the cup belongs to. Imagine the impact on Ladbrookes and other betting shops when  odds mean nothing  because this watery genius will just tell us. It was funny when Garry Linaker finally acknowledged the blither's existence and suggested he's be joining the MOTD panel. One mate cheekily said Garth Crooks looked worried.  I suspect one day very soon, Paul will get it wrong and we can all go back to being smug humans who think we need a few years of schooling in the arts of football before we can predict an outcome. In this situation I pity the guy who put £50 on Germany to win the cup 100/1 odds despite Octo Paul's clear warning that Germany would loose to Spain. Being wrong is one thing, but being wrong to a cephalopod who is mostly concerned with eating  must sting  just a bit. I take some blame for it as I bigged up Germany on the facts and current form, who knew they would bottle it like that? I honestly never saw it coming. But then again, Spain play a very dull defensive game that had Germany locked down for most of the match. If you can't get near the goal mouth you can't score.  I have bravely decided against all odds and logic to back Holland in the final regardless of what Paul says. Let the players decide who wins this one. And PS Paul, you are a legitimate phenomenon having now received two death threats in the mail, no word if an assassination squid has been sent . ( ta much Keith Topping for that)

EDIT:  Paul as of the latest news, has predicted that Spain will win the World Cup and Germany will win the consolation match. The significant thing is that he is now telling us these things via a Spokesman. Seems Paul is too good to talk to us directly. Furthermore, he is now getting love letters from Spanish girls. Having seen some shocking anime, I'd have thought it was Japanese girls, but what do I know.  Paul has gone Hollywood, next thing you know Katie Price will be rumoured to be seeing him as he's got more press than she does. Let me enjoy the moment ...a mollusc is getting more ink than Katie Price !!!!!

And I wasn't kidding about shock news, it just gets better all the time . I saw this from the BBC today ....
Goal-line technology in football has moved a step closer after Fifa General Secretary Jerome Valcke revealed the 2010 World Cup is set to be the last tournament under the existing refereeing system. In an interview with the BBC, Valcke admitted the moment when television replays showed Frank Lampard had scored a goal in England's second round defeat by Germany was a "bad day" for organisers.

But following the fallout from that and other controversial refereeing mistakes in South Africa, Valcke hinted that major changes would be made before the next World Cup in Brazil in 2014.
Valcke said: "We are talking about a single goal not seen by the referee which is why we are talking about new technology. But, again let's see if this system will help or whether giving the referee an additional four eyes will give him the comfort and make duty easier to perform, then why not? "I would say that it is the final World Cup with the current refereeing system."

Although Valcke's comments will be interpreted as a change of policy by Fifa following the International Football Association Board's (Ifab) decision to reject goal-line technology and other aids for referees in March, the Fifa general secretary said the speed at which the modern game was played meant the whole approach to refereeing had to be reformed. "The teams and the players are so strong and so fast. The game is different and the referees are older than all the players," said Valcke. "The game is so fast, the ball is flying so quickly, we have to help them and we have to do something and that's why I say it is the last World Cup under the current system."
Fifa president Sepp Blatter has repeatedly rejected calls for the introduction of goal-line technology or TV replays, insisting an element of human error has always been a part of the game.
Opponents have also pointed to concerns over universality - that all levels of the game should be subjected to the same rules and methods of refereeing.

But following the Lampard "goal" and Carlos Tevez's offside strike for Argentina against Mexico, also in the second round, Blatter performed a U-turn, saying that it would be a "nonsense" not to reopen the file on technology. Ifab - the game's rule making body which consists of representatives of the English, Scottish, Northern Irish and Welsh FAs as well as four representatives from Fifa - is due to hold a meeting on 21 July where the issue is expected to be discussed. But Valcke added that it was unlikely to hold serious discussions until a further meeting scheduled for October. In March, Ifab heard presentations from two companies pitching to introduce systems which they say provide definitive proof when the ball has crossed the line for a goal. But both Cairos Goal-line technology, which uses a microchip inside a football and magnetic fields around the goal line, and Hawk-Eye, which uses six television cameras positioned around the goal, were rejected. The Cairos system was tested by Fifa in the World Club Championships in Japan in 2007, but despite their claims that the test was a success, Ifab again rejected the proposal in March 2008.

It was debated again in 2009 but again turned down. Both Hawk-Eye and Cairos insist cost is not an issue as they offered to pay for the installation of the system in return for a share of sponsorship rights. The introduction of two extra referees positioned on the goal-line, a move initiated by Uefa president Michel Platini, was trialled last season in the Europa League and is set to be used in the Champions League this coming season. But again, Ifab turned down the chance to introduce it in time for the World Cup in South Africa. 
 

So there you have it, the turtle known as FIFA has finally started the less than glacial pace required to reform the game and join the rest of the 21st century. We need not harm the game by doing this, Rugby , Tennis and Hockey have all done this with no harm to the game or the professionalism of the officials involved. The number of blatant officiating errors and easily re-viewable bad red cards is too high. Cheating or playing the rules is outside the spirit of the game and should be stopped when ever possible. At least two players deserved to be named and shamed and barred from play for at least a month's worth of matches. They caused two quality players from competing. Even if FIFA were to rescind the cards in the next 24 hours it's already too late for the matches that were affected by these bad calls. Suarez boasted he saved his team by blocking a sure goal, clearly an instant where even a penalty is not needed, just award the goal, it was going in full stop, and Suarez cheated knowing he was taking a chance on missing the pen. It makes Maradonas hand of God look like an accident. Teams have been relegated or missed out on tournaments on avoidable human error. Goals that were goals were not goals because one man out of millions in some cases, did not see the ball go in or cross the line.  It's 2010, time we got with the program. I suspect the real reform will take place in time for Euro 2012, with a test drive in the 2010-11 Champions League season. We can only hope this crack in the fundamentalist wall of football ayatollahs is only going to get bigger and we can clean  up our game in short order. Somehow I don't think the later will happen as quickly, but if it sees Sepp Blatter leave, it will be a step in the right direction.

And the shocks keep coming.... News from the cobbles .... straight from MSN news. Before you read what follows, I'm not a big fan of spoilers, I will as a rule avoid them like the plague but this is hardly a spoiler, it's more of a warning to viewers and a shot across the bow to cast members who think they may be irreplaceable.

Much-loved characters are to be killed off in a massive disaster which causes carnage in Coronation Street, show bosses have revealed.  The viaduct, which has long been a Weatherfield landmark, is to collapse, sending a tram careering off the bridge and on to the cobbles. The gripping storyline marks the show's 50th anniversary in December and will leave some favourites from the show injured. Producer Phil Collinson said: "We'll be losing some well-known, well-loved characters." Show bosses said it will be the biggest stunt in the soap's half-century history. Collinson told ITV1's This Morning: "If you're listening in Weatherfield it's not good news. One fateful night at the beginning of December the viaduct's going to collapse, down by the corner shop and the Kabin, and a tram is going to crash into Coronation Street. "People are going to be injured, people are going to be killed. It's a big, big story for us and one fateful night will play out across a whole week. Picking up the pieces of that into next year is going to be huge."Show bosses will issue alternative scripts and keep security extra tight to keep the outcome a secret.Even cast and crew are in the dark about which Weatherfield residents will be killed in the disaster, which soap chiefs promise will be the biggest stunt the programme has ever staged. Collinson has drafted in special effects experts from The Mill, who have worked on Doctor Who and Gladiator, and producers have worked with GMPTE, which runs Metrolink trams in Manchester. The producer added: "We'll be using all the wonders of modern television production to bring you a disaster that will rock the lives of everyone in Weatherfield."

OOOO arrrrr This has to come as incredibly bad news to some cast members who have been hanging on by their fake nails for ages now. No amount of can tan or boob jobs will stop this new broom sweeping the street clean. Some people have asked for a spectacular way off the programme, Jack Duckworth comes to mind, and yet other newer cast members like Maria and Michelle may be given the chop as well. Long established couple and annoying wife saddled Ashley Peacock may  finally move to a new neighbourhood to pick up the pieces while  the Websters could finally be sent packing after years of infuriating us with snobbery and a daughter that could have been so much more , but has turned into a yet another Crowther tart. Then of course we have the Windass clan, hands up anybody who will miss the ginger menaces. Ex Doctor Who show runner  Phil Collison has with this one announcement  made it clear he wishes to bring some order to the mess that was Corrie in the dying months of Kim Crowther. In the last few weeks we've begun to see the return of the Corrie we loved for so long , but had been stripped away to base drama and conflict  by the previous regime. Humour , the corner stone of Corrie as well as the mundane family based dilemmas are back.  David and Graham are not quite bessie mates again, but David hasn't tried to shoot him with a sniper rifle or plotted to drop him in a pit of vipers either, if anything, the situation has been diffused in the normal amount of time for regular humans such as ourselves. Will he kill everybody off? Not likely. Will he sack dead wood and rescue characters from a slide into  irrelevance they had suffered from? Jason Grimshaw and his mam Eileen, have both behaved badly off screen and that can't be good for those characters. I don't envy the the cast right now, months of uncertainty, reading scripts wondering if that's it. Even if  they hand you a new love interest, it doesn't mean you won't be killed by a Dalek at Christmas. Phil Collison is the breathe of fresh air that Corrie needed for the longest time. ITV hasn't got too many things right of late, but this was an inspired decision. I have gone from dreading to watch to wondering what's going to happen next. Well done Phil and well done ITV.

World Cup: Time for that reality check

Finally! The real World Cup has started, no more tender moments where teams get to play nice and careful. No more let's be nice to the host nation and also rans. Today we started separating the men from the boys. In what had to be the upset result so far, Switzerland held and then defeated perennial World Cup darlings 1-0. In a clash of flash versus efficiency, the Swiss kept their heads while Spain tried again and again to break down a stubborn defence and midfield. Some of us thought, ok and for your next trick? Nil Nil is hardly going to get you out of the group stages is it? That's when they did that most Un-Swiss thing, having found a moment to break out and catch the other guys napping, Fernandes ( I know how Swiss is that?) finished a scoring opportunity. In a match where getting a goal was going to be tough , the team that scored first was most likely to win. Now I'm sure Spain will somehow bounce back, but the fact that perhaps the greatest collection of egos south of Paris could not break down a team from a country better known for banks and watches than it's football, means it is a fool who assumes you can get by on good looks and good will alone. Switzerland stuck to a plan and waited for the moment to strike. Add one more check in the Teutonic column of teams you need to worry about now.

One of the most important element in the day's events was the very real decision on the part of most refs to apply the rules of the game and not tolerate any mind games. Very clearly the officials are not reading the FIFA script that says we need to keep Sepp Blatter and the sponsors happy by protecting the Cinderella teams. If you play good football and convert you chances, no official will stand in your way. A case in point was today's South Africa Uruguay match. If the Hollywood types had had their way Uruguay would have rolled over and died. Problem is that Uruguay  had a good qualifying run in, they were not about to step aside and forget 2 years of preparation so the host nation could look good and stay in for a bit longer. From the first , the Uruguayans made it plain they meant to win. Diego Forlan , recognized club footballer, imposed himself on the match and by the 24th minute we were at 1-0. Despite the best efforts of the ref to not see the incident, several fouls were given and except for one very obviously political decision to not hand out a yellow and give a free kick, South Africa was shaken out of it's fantasy land  reverie.  Even the local supporters had to finally put down the ear destroying vuvuzelas and start paying attention to the game. Somewhere along the way between  the first Forlan goal and the spot on sending off of the South African keeper, reality set in for the crowd. By the time the new keeper finally sauntered over to the net  and awaited his fate, most of the SA supporters were beginning to realize the ride was about to come to an end. Diego Forlan kicks, GOAL. And in that instant even the tourist casual footie fans knew it was time to give up the ghost. An injury time goal by Pereira sealed  South Africa's doom. What really sickened me was the spectacle of fickle newbie SA supporters heading for the door with 15 minutes to go. As a Newcastle supporter, I have to tell you I'm not impressed. I've sat through some real gut wrenching defeats and never once gave up before the final whistle. It begs the question  of why FIFA sees fit to grant the World Cup to countries that are for all intents and purposes, never going to qualify for the tournament without special exemptions. Not withstanding ability to build and maintain infrastructure, there are at least three other African countries that were more deserving of the Cup and vastly superior. Don't get me wrong .SA deserves every chance it can get, but it would have been better off hosting Cricket or Rugby, both sports it excels at. It's this kind of short sighted policy that creates wafer thin delusional supporters who walk out on their team with enough time remaining to at least equalize. You have to feel for the players who had to witness a steady stream of cowardly so called fans sneaking out. Little wonder they had the look of walking dead by the end of the match. 

Loyalty is something following Newcastle United ,West Ham or insert name of your team, teaches you.We have become used  the misery of constant defeat and disappointment. A small thing like being behind 1-0 or even 2-0 has never dampened our spirits. Some would even say, initial optimism then ending in disappointment sounds very Newcastle. Pretty much sums up England every World Cup and the Wales qualifying campaigns. The world Cup should be reserved for countries and fans who have the intestinal fortitude to support their team without folding up in the first minute after the Disney portion of the match is over. Every team that had to qualify knows just how much it means to the other guys and their supporters. We want to sing our support, we want to chant our feelings and we want to stick out like sore thumbs. We want our lads to know we're there.
 

This is something that FIFA in an attempt to sell a game that has conquered most of the globe, to the last few hold outs, is sacrificing, for corporate greed, good PR and a trip to somewhere new. I despair that England will ever again host a World Cup. We only invented the bloody game. But if we are to never see another tournament, I'd much rather Australia or some other emerging footie mad place with nice hotels gets it. At least their team won't need the help of referees, at the expense of deserving teams, to stay in. While I'm having a go at FIFA, 30 Dutch women were arrested for wearing identical orange outfits. It's Holland for Christ's sake, they do that sort of thing. Come to think of it, they seem to get nicked every World Cup, any road, WC organizers have gone out of their way to clear the road for mega multi national corps over the interests of local merchants and ordinary supporters. Much like at the Winter games, Local merchants are being frozen out of the big money, If South Africa was being given the WC to help, I don't see many poor South Africans benefiting from "official" souvenir sales or the fascinating local craft movement getting much exposure. There are enough fixtures left for FIFA to get a sense of humour and let US have a bit of fun. It' not too late, They can start by putting on the orange dresses themselves. I bet Sepp Blatter looks geet canny in a skimpy frock. Only his closest circle of friends will ever know though, sigh,..

Speaking of funny things... Mick McCarthy was voted more annoying than a vuvuzela for his droning on and on. His reaction could not be made out over the noise of the horns.  Bet you haven't heard this one yet?

What's the difference between Katie Price and a vuvuzela horn?


One is a cheap plastic piece of trash that is there making it's annoying
whining noise, every time you turn on the T.V.


The other is a musical instrument.

Tomorrow another three matches, and I'm pumped for all three. The race is well and truly on.