Arivaderci Roma, Italy tumble out & Fun Corrie is back

I'll be perfectly honest, yesterday was one of those days that just make you want to just scream , why am I doing this. Four matches, only one was of any kind of significance to me at all in any way. So apologies in advance. I won't be dwelling on the foibles and special moments of what was in small moments a pretty good day of footie. The really important thing to take from  the day was the dumping out of the World Cup of Italy. Something I predicted as early as their first proper match when they sleep walked for 90 minutes. What happened to Italy was the well deserved result of taking your own greatness for granted and the misguided belief by the manager that he above all others was the holder of the Holy Grail of football. You have no idea how much joy it gave me to watch the Italians moan and suffer as the day got worse and worse, well all except one lady who clearly believed herself to be at a rave somewhere on planet ecstasy. So you can understand, In 2006, I was sat in a cafe full of Italians watching as they were awarded a late penalty. A penalty they knew was the product of a massive dive and never ever deserved. They of course scored the goal and advanced to the finals in the end. But if there was any justice, they would have to a man,  said no ref  we can't accept it. After the match the cafe  supporters quietly filed out and didn't have any of the usual OTT celebrations, this of course did not stop them from pretending they were the best after the final  . Well this time as the saying says, Karma is a bitch. All those dodgy pens, dive induced yellows inflicted on opponents and ref rushes that had got them this far , finally didn't work. They would have to work for a result. Even the disallowed goal was particularly tasty, how often had they in 2006 alone benefited from the same kind of clearly wrong call  without so much as a word to say , sorry ref we were massively offside. In fairness it was a dramatic fight back but not good enough. And that is the point of all of this. Italy were not worthy of advancing and they didn't. All those hang dog faces I saw , young boys, old men,  women who looked like their mother had died, I'd like to say I felt bad, but no , they deserve it after the pain they inflicted on others in 2006, served them right.  Joining France and maybe Spain soon , the big European sides are being exposed for the lazy players they have become. Italy got a taste of it's own medicine and I don't think they will even be aware of it. Instead, the post mortem will start in a few hours and the ref will be evil and the other side cheated. I say this as I've heard it all before from them and I'm sick of it. Say what you want about Brazil or Germany, but they aren't actively trying to win the game first by man management , mind games  you know cheating. They try playing football first before resorting to smoke and mirrors. Just maybe over the next two years under a new manager Italy might get a younger better less arrogant side and return to the pretty football they used to play. If England go out next Sunday I hope it's only after playing their very best and leaving it all out on the pitch. At least we'll know they tried. How many teams showed up this time and simply expected the opposition to promptly fall apart and hand them the next round on a plate? If there's one thing good about this World Cup over the most recent ones, it's that this time it seems only the teams that were good enough have been allowed to advance.With luck the last four teams to advance tomorrow will be sorted in short order and we can see the pressure cooker do or die football that we have seen in the last few days from the winners continuing in the knock out matches.

And is if to remind me life is more than football, I was told by one of the laptops that I needed to upgrade my adobe flash player. The Acer was fine and did it's little dance and 2 minutes later we were back on line , but the Vaio was going to be difficult. Error messages, special help pages , un-installing the old version of Flash player, none of it seemed to work. Finally after what felt like 4 hours later but was in fact only an hour of cursing, it somehow decided to cooperate. It just did what it refused to do for the last few days.How rude, why didn't it just sort itself at the first time of asking? I can't tell you why some upgrades are  more frustrating than others, but this was one of the upgrades from hell.

All that faffing around with websites and down loaders delayed the main event of the post match relax. Catching up on Corrie. With the adobe and Java script sorted we could fire up the ITV player and watch the morning after the night before. Graham Proctor, village idiot savant and sensitive soul finally won the babe lottery and spent the night exploring Tina McIntyre. Here is where it gets interesting , and by interesting I mean fun. Tina was supposed to tell her ex, Bob the builder,  and Graham is going to tell the ever peaceful and serene David about the development. Knowing Graham, it isn't going to be simple or predictable. You have to see it to believe it. The best comedy sequence in years  going back to before Kim Crowther started as head producer. There is a blanket gag first used in Abbot and Costello , a pair of handcuffs, a radiator , a lunging David and finally the comedy cherry on top of the cake, the street scene in which David plays the clown so well you almost believe he isn't just doing it for effect. Phill Collison has in this ep finally taken control and returned the keystone cops humour we used to take for granted on Corrie. I was so happy I gave it my full attention. Stories about ordinary people have come home and I suspect the OTT bizzaro ones are in the bin where they should have stayed.Corrie is fun and again, I hope it stays that way for a long time to come.

Curse of the rubbish Goal keeper or the Clown Keeper Convention

Finally a mystery worthy of the great Sherlock Homes himself. What has happened to the goal keepers of the world. It's like a virus has struck anybody standing between to sticks. Suddenly these highly paid professionals cannot seem to stop a ball often struck so poorly that you wonder if a settee surfing lay about (Yes I'm talking about you) couldn't have got his mitts around the thing. . You have to wonder hadn't you, just why the footie Gods have chosen to afflict this World Cup first with vuvuzelas and now an apparent epidemic of the dropsies.

I can't speak for the vuvuzelas, except to say that if you find them annoying there are measures you can take, starting with your television . Go to your advanced settings and reduce the treble to NIL, this won't make the bees go away, but they won't drill into your head so badly. You can also have a moan to FIFA .This blight on the ears has one positive effect, well several, firstly it has united fans from the planet over, including Africa, to call for a ban. Don't let anybody tell you it's just Europeans and we are being insensitive to the local culture. That is the PC position adopted by some bleeding hearts who would rather discuss the role of empire rather than watch some decent football. The other  benefit is that I have at long last found a way to drown out Mick McCarthy's bizarre mutterings about "two columns of four" and other strange incantations.  I'm certain if you listen long enough , you can hear a special message from God letting you know that you're a click away from great insurance rates if you use wesellanymeercats.com.

Mick wasn't alone in having a hard day though, Mark Lawrenson, Scouse legend in his own mind, was on the verge of self immolation during the Japan Cameroon match. Several pleas for clemency were made, but the referee refused to call time at the 60th minute. I'm sure there have been more boring matches  in this tournament, but Japan Cameroon was by far the least memorable and most reminiscent of a classic defensive battle of wits in a Fizzy pop (Cola Championship) relegation dogfight. You don't want to loose but you don't want to attack in case the other side proves less rubbish than you and sends you packing to league 1.

The gloom lifted finally when Italy v Paraguay kicked off. Italy perennial whingers left the blocks in a leisurely bolt in search of the goal to hunker down behind and defend. Sadly for Italy, Paraguay  scored a pretty goal that was well organized and executed. After this, Italy had to play to survive. For his trouble, the best goal keeper of the tournament thus far, was sent off by his own manager. I suppose Buffon hadn't got the memo about the new international standard . Not to worry, the Paraguayan keeper did, and in keeping with the bar set by Rob Green, he promptly surpassed it. Would you like to know why he couldn't stop the ball? Sun in his eyes, bit of dust, maybe his defenders distracted him? Could have been the cute little bird on the pitch, and he was incredibly cute. You give up? He was waving to a mate in the crowd and wasn't paying attention. Just when did this World Cup become the Ringling Brothers Comedy convention of crap Keepers?

Before we get too wrapped in  the colourful characters currently inflicting pain on their own supporters, ask yourself a question. Have you noticed that highly skilled professionals who play club football , are stars in their own right, cannot seem to complete passes properly. I'm not saying all the time, just enough to make you wonder if there isn't something else happening. How is that two players who regularly pass to each other almost instinctively, cannot seem to be able to control the ball.? I'm no expert, but I can make an educated guess. That ball we been using in the Champions League , that ball we been hearing about for months, that ball players have been slating since it was introduced, seems unstable. It bounces like a tennis ball, but gets trapped by the slightest breeze and rolls funny. Imagine if a new golf ball was introduced and near every pro  suddenly started killing innocent spectators with rogue golf balls. Unlike FIFA, the governing bodies of golf would quickly move to change the ball back.  While I'd love to blame the vuvuzela or Mick McCarthy and his incantations, I can't. Adidas has to shoulder some of the blame. They have made a ball that is one improvement too far. At some point there will be the penultimate ball. The Aristotelian football we are not worthy of building but one day will, or has that football come and gone? As players and spectators, we need a ball that will be a long term standard that will insure a uniformity of play experience if you have a decent pitch.

Three more matches and the arrival finally, of the other team that will be expected to put on a show. Brazil play hapless North Korea at 7:30 pm UK time ( sorry its on ITV)  so best to avoid the build-up and just tune in the match. With luck two things will happen, ITV won't cut away to an advert as  Kaka scores the goal of the tournament, and the comedy keeper curse won't strike again. Portugal v Ivory Coast promises to be equally entertaining, though if I'm honest, I hope the oily twat Christiano Ronaldo has a terrible World Cup.

Nearly forgot, today also saw the official appearance of the World Cup babes. The women who have been missing since Friday, have made it to their seats and are being beamed around the world to appreciative men who hither to have had to look at trannies and oddly dressed mascot fans in giant sperm costumes. Brazil and Portugal will be a treat ! 

I would tell you about some brilliant programmes on telly, but after 6 hours of football and little sleep I was only able to fit in today's Corrie and Jonathan Dimbleby before I passed out for a well deserved rest.

Next kick off in a few hours, best get some laundry in before we're trapped for another 6 hours. Laters all, enjoy the football and remember, support the best team, not the team Adrian Chiles brow beats you about .