Lent and the modern Catholic

What is Sin?

Growing up as a Catholic boy I was told a lot of things about the period leading up to Easter and why it was the holiest time of the Christian calendar. I'm sure most of it at the time even stuck, but just to be sure I checked the apparent arbiter of simple unvarnished truth that is wikipedia 

"The traditional purpose of Lent is the preparation of the believer through prayer, penance, repentance of sins, almsgiving, atonement and self-denial. Its institutional purpose is heightened in the annual commemoration of Holy Week, marking the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus, which recalls the tradition and events of the New Testament beginning on Friday of Sorrows, further climaxing on Jesus' crucifixion on Good Friday, which ultimately culminates in the joyful celebration on Easter Sunday of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ."

 Yeah, that's about right. What has of course percolated through to the less knowledgeable or devout layer of people is that we have to give something up for 40 days, something we like, we need to suffer. That's all fine and good on the surface, but doesn't actually tell us why. Why do we need to give up a luxury? What's the point? How does my giving up chocolate or expensive entertainments help me get ready for Easter?

Self denial in conjunction with fasting, and self examination allows us the intellectual space to review ourselves and our life and habits. It allows us to see what it is we can do to be better persons in the long run. Jews and Muslims have not unsimilar traditions with precisely the same goals. Lets examine the principal actions asked of every Christian during this period.

Penance: Or the confession of sin, is the act of  realization that maybe some of our actions have been bad, harmful or selfish. Jesus and pretty much every other prophet who ever came along has told us not to be shmucks, putzes and self centred egomaniacs to the detriment of everybody else and everything around us. We are individual parts of a whole and our harmonious participation is predicated on the notion that we accept that we are not always the centre of the universe. To do this, we need  a time to consider the year that was, the actions we did, good bad or indifferent. If the giving up of ostentatious displays and a few luxuries brings us back to the level of the humblest among us, then we are all the more open to the exercise of self examination. Here is a short  and hardly axhaustive list of  simple questions to ask yourself.

1- Have I been a help or a hindrance to those around me?
2- Have I made the most of my opportunities, especially those that came out of the blue and those that came after much struggle? 
3- How aware am I of the impact of my actions on those closest to me and to my general surroundings?
4- Have I maximized my talents, education and time, life has thus far offered me?
5- Have I made myself, my talents and resources available to those who needed them.

Repentance: Having had a good long look at one's self, we have established a number of things we may have been guilty of. And by guilty I don't necessarily mean things like lying and cheating, tho that does count, I mean the subtler sins of waste, egocentrism, self indulgent pity and other assorted reasons why you can't do what you know is good for you and for others. This step is particularly important as you're going to do that thing you failed utterly to do at New Year's.... resolve to avoid said bad behaviour and find a different and better path to follow. AND MEAN IT.  By the way, did you make a list of people you wronged? Yup, that's the next step,

Atonement: In plain English it means saying you're sorry, you won't do it again and you need to find a way to the best of your ability to tell people this. If this sounds like something out of AA, you're not wrong. And saying you're sorry sometimes isn't enough, you need to do an act of contrition or reparation. A recent example of this is Csanad Szegedi a former right wing nationalist Hungarian politician  who upon discovering he was Jewish, went into a deep period of  reflection and is now still sitting  but as an independent  that stands for human rights and social equality. He will spend the rest of his life atoning for his previous life, but for him that is the price he has to pay for having been such a terrible person before.

Szegedi

Now here is the tricky bit for some. Forgiveness:  Forgiveness for sins against ourselves and dealing with those who are too bitter and angry at us for the sins we committed against them. You cannot allow those who won't forgive you to be the reason you don't follow through, sometimes what you did to them was just too damaging, you will make new friends and  a new life, even if you have to bear the consequences of some of your actions for the rest of your life. And if somebody has wronged you and made the effort to apologize and really mean it; you have a responsibility to try, to dig down in yourself and forgive them, never forget, but forgive and wipe the slate clean. As I said, it's not easy, if it were, everybody would be doing it.

Alms giving and good deeds: Mitzvah the Jews call it. The art of sharing yourself, your talent and your wealth with those who need it most for nothing but the knowledge that you made their life better. A true mitzvah does not ask for a receipt or testimonial dinner. All good deeds  be they large or small, eventually as the saying goes, get repaid ten fold. Some of us will get a box of chocolates or the occasional tray of biscuits, others will get a medal or knighthood in the fullness of time, but most of us will be rewarded at most by a smile and a polite thank you, sometimes not even that. And yet, that is not a reason to not do it. Each example of such a good deed that makes you a  mensch ( really good person) without leading you necessarily to sainthood either, makes you a living embodiment of what every prophet and holy man and woman ever asked of humanity.....Don't be A SHMUCK. At the very least, if somebody has to choose how to be and they have you and some putz as an example, they will have the wisdom to be you, because you were nice to them, because somebody was nice to you.

What exactly is defined as a good deed then you ask? It could be the simple act of charity, the act of taking your time and spending it with somebody who is lonely, perhaps seeing a friend who is themselves encumbered with problems not of their own making and just not dealing with them  due to lack of resources or strength and saying , " Today I'll be here to help you, and if can, I'll do it next week too." Charity can sometimes be a balm on the conscience of the comfortable and the well off  that excuses them from thinking about the connections of actions and results. Perhaps if you give to a charity, ask yourself why the people or things are in such dire need. What can you do to reverse the situation permanently. In so doing you may find that the simple act of giving money or spare food becomes just the opening gambit. Here is a site that provides a wonderful way to Do Lent Generously.

Volunteering  is part of charity, it is the self sacrifice of your leisure time away from x factor and other such things designed to numb you from the reality around you. The volunteer sector is more and more pressurized to provide services that governments have abdicated, add this on top of the usual sports, scouts, guides, gardening, OAP activities etc... that depend on an ever shrinking pool of people, and you can see how even a few hours you previously spent playing World of Warcraft or voting in bread and circuses talent shows on telly can alleviate a bit of the pressure. I would like to mention and praise here  a group of particularly devoted Star Trek fans of the NE of England who take any opportunity to make a noise in Klingon or even Dalek if it means a good local charity gets a bit of help. Quark's Tyne bar, always ready to serve the Klingon Empire, The Federation and any cause that doesn't mind people eating Rokeg Blood Pie or accusing them of being a P'Tok.

While Lent is all of the things you've just read, it is first and foremost a time of reflection about yourself and your place in the world. How you can best contribute to and share it's bounty with others. Being a better person is the reason why you give up chocolate for 40 days. It's about giving your soul and your body a chance to heal and maybe change for the better. There is no perfect way of doing this, but if you follow even a part of the observance, even if it's just talking to your G-d, reading from the texts that you claim to inspire your more altruistic self, or just reaching out to those around you and trying to understand them and the person you could be if you just tried, you have made a road map for yourself to follow until next year, when it starts all over again.

Muslims and Jews reading this will find much familiar to them and I would hope it goes a long way in letting them know that where it matters most, we are all praying to the same G-d. For my humanist and atheist friends,  I hope you take from this an understanding of what it truly means to us to be what we are and to respect us for that. This period of reflection we travel is something every person can do regardless of faith, regardless if they even believe in a higher power. Make the effort in your own way and you'll be the better for it, in fact we all will.

Yom Kippur: It's ok to laugh you know, in fact I command it. Part 1

I command it

Gut Yontiff on this the most holy of all days in Judaism. Yom Kippur unlike certain holy days  is a deeply dour and incredibly introspective day. It is thinking about what you have done with your life and how you can be  less of a shmuck. Even the least observant try to make an effort for this one. What G-d wants you to do is fix yourself and mean it. Having had to sit through a few sessions of self examination and watched a few others going at it over the last two weeks, I can see something that does need to change, we need to laugh, we need to be less easily offended and shocked and appalled at things , so much so that we miss the point the humorist is trying to make. We miss the target of the mirth, the not so hapless victim of the larger or smaller needle aimed squarely at the deeply offending attitude, act or person or personages. This form of humour serves to shame and belittle the offender, it satirizes and soothes the victims, it frees the sufferer in the telling by showing that there is a moment however brief and private where they to have a bit of freedom and can fight back and never forget. By denying them and those who pass on the stories the right to tell them or feel ok about telling them, you say that laughter, humour, even gallows humour is not allowed and serves no purpose in dealing with pain, suffering or hardship.

By the way before I forget.... To those of you reading this or anything else I have written, to those who know me personally, I apologize with deep sincerity and great regret for anything I may have said, not said or allegedly said to offend you. How was I supposed to know you were the self appointed arbiter of taste and protector of infirm East Namibian honey badger farmers? How could I guess that my personal choice of food or faith or clothing was going make the humourless radar go off and make me the unwanted centre of attention of the tut tut brigade in the middle of an otherwise enjoyable occasion. Oh and sorry Jerry, I will even pay the fine for that book you took out for me, so sorry, just didn't have time to finish it.

Gallows humour, ironic humour, self deprecating humour, biting scathing cutting humour, like sarcasm, is wielded as a weapon and protects the teller from the very people and institutions that would quietly and effectively subjugate and isolate them all the while hoping the victims/targets don't grow a spine or fight back. Righteous indignation is like war, the last resort because all else fails. Talking failed, shaming failed, satirizing failed, politeness failed, turning the other cheek failed, being tolerant failed, so you turn to anger, indignation and petitions followed by the age old .... you can't say that, that's a biased opinion, you're generalising  and how can you assume and the classic, even it it's true you can't say that as it might make them feel bad. Awww didummms, so pointing out to a nasty piece of work that they are nasty is something we ought not do, we should wait for them to feel bad about it themselves and change , say sorry and do an act of contrition unbidden. I would point you in the direction of many martyrs over the millennia who even today inspire but prove that ultimately nothing is ever changed until it is either shamed or ridiculed into non existence.

 What's off limits?  Death? atrocities? mass murder? ethnic cleansing or demonization through laws? Well let me tell you something, survivors of the concentration camps and the gulags of Stalin laughed, they laughed in the camps, they laughed in the line to trains, in the trains, off the trains, digging holes, putting bodies of dead relatives and friends into said holes, they laughed to remind themselves they were human. Whatever it is they suffered on the inside even years after, the humour in our homes was always dark, always sharp and served to remind us, the children and the children's children , to never forget ,  to never let it happen it again, to never do it again ourselves. And those who went on to live through or observe the depravities of other later dictators, other modern day demagogues who would save nations; used the same wit , humour and fatalism to stick a pin into the pompous and the stupid before they could get to anything as bad as Hitler or Stalin. That many would not listen till it was too late is not important, what is important is that these people knew when to spot BULLSHIT, when to point it out and when to feel like they themselves suffered for nothing when they see their own who have forgotten the lessons of even the most recent history and go on to commit the same crimes. Step by step washing away the universal justification against evil for their own narrow purposes. They and their children tell these stories to keep us, and the generations who follow  but will not read the histories, from repeating the mistakes so often visited on ourselves. These cautionary tales are designed to make us see in others, blacks, gays, the poor, people of all nations, even Palestinians as fellow sufferers.

The jokes. the stories of the survivors, if you just go quiet and let them talk as if you're not there, would make your hair curl if you are of a deeply sensetive nature. They first of all think the alleged shocking material is tame and will tell you far funnier and starker stories , sharper and wittier things that would make Oscar Wilde ( also someone who was oppressed in his own way ) smile knowingly. Which brings me to the nub of the matter.... We remember Oscar Wilde, we remember his stories and we laugh at his victims and in so doing insure we never again do those things with full intent and malice. But do we remember the countless angry denunciatory speeches? the reams of indignant pamphlets on any subject be it voting, health care, tolerance of other people? Oh some can point to dust covered collections of political philosophy  seldom read but highly prized omnibus of editorials, but most of us will still recall with fresh and vivid attention Gilbert & Sulivan's "I've got a little list" or the self deprecating Chelmo stories. Most recently Russell Brand .These stories serve to hit us quickly , sharply and with effect to remind us that we are ourselves on the verge of doing unto others what we ourselves would not like, especially when it's been done to us.

So next time somebody tells you a story that is funny and yet sends up bad behavior or points out suffering in a sarcastic or self deprecating manner.... do us a favour..... laugh for G-d's sake...... the teller wanted you to, the now dead or incredibly old relative of the teller who told it first wanted you to. They told much worse to survive... show some respect...laugh. The ones who suffered laughed, the survivors laughed to survive, the survivors remembered so we could remember and keep the reality the pathos, the humanity amid the inhumanity alive. By being so damned serious, we deny their experiences and deny humour as a tool we can use to fight every kind of societal ill and evil. Please please please buy yourself a sense of humour and take that stick you've got up your backside out. Smile man....smell the flowers and laugh at the jokes. If you do, the bad guys won't win, the bad guys won't find it so easy to pull the wool over your eyes. Humour is the shorthand, the Index at the back of the book of civilization. Humour is like early science fiction , it serves to do what others cannot , will not or fear to do. When enough people have understood the shorthand, the real awful, nasty unpleasant things can be rolled back or stopped in their tracks.

So what am I asking you today regardless of your faith or lack thereof? Take this one aspect of your life, give it a shake, learn to laugh. Be comfortable with your desire to laugh, it's not going to kill you and it will more often than not, bridge otherwise unbridgeable diferences.

It's at this point I need to remind some of you that I'm not Jewish, I'm a Catholic. My wife is Jewish and like me, Polish. We both have families that suffered in the concentration camps, we both have family and friends that were sent to Siberia or the killing fields of Katyn and countless other killing fields in Poland and Russia. My wife's maternal grandfather was the only survivor of the mass extermination of his village by playing dead , my father and grandfather avoided death at Katyn by being arrested two weeks later than the rest, then along with almost every Pole, Jewish or Catholic in then Eastern Poland that wasn't killed on the spot, sent to Siberia followed by the long deadly march to freedom and Persia. My father's 2nd wife, as a 12 year old, was held in Ravensbruck concentration camp and saw most of her friend's and family murdered. All this to say that while we are both engaged politically and take life incredibly seriously when we need to, we are still first and foremost humorists. We are humorists because our relatives are, because the people who raised us and went through  Hell were humorists.  And it is for them we prefer to laugh than to cry.

Tomorrow in part 2 my wife will tell in uncensored detail, the anecdotes and attitudes of survivors who settled in New York, Brooklyn, Midwood. The same place and people who created Mel Brooks and moulded Woody Allen to name but a few.