Wood's story of England ends,Life without Work is Getting on and Mad Cat Ladies

What a week it's been so far. Loads of  telly to watch and most of it really good. But before I get onto that, a few  quick notes about the Tyne Wear Derby coming up and the e-mail I got from my editor. As some of you might know if you've been good readers and read ALL my stuff, you'll know I'm working on a few articles for a Sherlockian journal. Today I got a pdf of the mock up of the first draft of article one without images. My reviews of BBC's Sherlock have been reduced to a smooth veloute sauce of silky verbiage in praise of the New Sherlock risen from the minds of Moffat and Gatiss. I'm assured there will be one last version presented as and when the editor can sort the copyright issues for a few images from the BBC.  Just as big is of course the build up towards the long missed Tyne Wear Derby taking place at the weekend. BBC Radio Newcastle's Total Sport team had on tonight a special edition where the usual cast of talking heeds and  fan forum members took themselves to a 5 aside pitch in North Shields to decide once and for all just who's supporters could play Sunday side best. As it happens the Mackem lads edged our boys 4-3, but to hear our manager tell it, the ref ignored a clear penalty shout and the net wasn't big enough for some of our shooters. Not to be outdone by the main sport site, Total Sport then went to several cages at the zoo to ask The monkeys, the dolphins and octopi for a score line.  Monkeys 2-0 for the SMB's, Dolphins 2-2 draw and the octopus called for 0-0 draw. Seems even the animal world's opinion is divided on this. Hear the entire bit of madness on Listen again Radio Newcastle for 28th of October.  Good Luck Lads, we're playing at home, don't embarrass us.

On to business dear readers. As the title implies, this one is mostly history and a dash of NHS comedy.

This week Michael Wood's Story of England wrapped up the series with part 6 dealing with modern Kibworth/England. In Victoria to the present day, we trace the progress of Kibworth from 1830 when all right thinking people feared society changing revolution from below. Turns out they were right , but it wasn't the violent ideological revolution of Cromwell or Marx, but that of the reformers and the dissenters. Commercial interests, along with the growing British Empire served to drag England into the next century whatever the old world thought of it. Several things happen to insure that the lot of the poor and illiterate is improved.  In 1832 90% do not have the right to vote, a number that changes in fits and starts. By 1870 school for the 5 to 12 year olds is accessible , by 1880, it's mandatory. Children who enter service at 12, were expected to be smart and know how to read, a skill that served them well when it came time to challenge the Poor law courts. By1900 there is 90 % literacy rate. The railroad also came to town in  1857 . Kibworth's own Loveday, in a single stroke, creates more voters and homes for workers of modest means, by building houses. These people achieve the status of franchise holders, thus causing the Tories of the day to respond to workers or risk losing power.  ( insert own coalition joke or barb here). Despite things like the march for the unemployed in 1905, truly revolutionary tendencies are sublimated by the firm hand of the clergy on the moral pulse of the village through Penny Concerts filled with upright songs about tea and the tragedy of  a girl imploring people to ask her father to come home form the pub. This is not to say that the working men's clubs did not have the saucier sort of songs, dances and broad comedy we have come to call "Music Hall". WW1 and II do their worst and the full vote comes to all in 1928. Baby boomers come, Land Girls become mums and Kibworth becomes part of one the most multi ethnic parts of Britain.

So what in all of this was strictly Kibworthian? Well rather a lot as it turns out. This time Professor Wood utilises the resources of the best local volunteers to search through hitherto untouched parish records from the 19th century, later used to illustrate the Poor Law section. Whole groups of children walk through Kibworth on a Victoria walk, learning  that Thomas Cook was of Kibworth. The fact the dissenters movement was deeply imbeded in the village, with the result that much of what we take for granted of the writing and traditions of the movement was from Kibworth and can still be studied in libraries long since merged with more mainstream institutions, brings home the importance of the place, even if the descendants of those reformers are not spoken to directly. One of the truly nice bits was when the town was pressed ganged into recreating a Penny Concert as well as a less moralistic or upright Music hall show. A particularly poignant moment was when a class of children read of the experience and deaths of family members in the Great war then went on an annual trip to visit a battle field in France where a group of Leicester soldiers posed for a photo. Sat in the same spot, it wasn't hard to imagine most of those young people about to waste their lives on a trench charge. They then went over to the large cenotaph  to pick out the names of great grand parents. Another great use, In this last segment of the Kibworth series, Michael Wood, through photos, film and re enactment, connects the streets and homes to the events of the recent past and makes the current village seem more than a semi rural destination you might normally avoid unless you knew somebody there.Not a bad way to wrap up a series. Catch up the entire series on the iPlayer

Continuing with the theme of the working man's history of the recent past, BBC A life without work, does a brilliant job of bringing the poverty and working conditions of 1910 Yorkshire to life. Richard Bilton explores the report that is the very underpinning of the modern welfare state the Government is so busy taking apart bit by tiny bit.  While there are some abuses and ill effects of the policy on modern society, it is no reason to destroy it. In watching this programme, you realise just how close we are to the family in the 1910 diary but for the very safety net keeping large portions of the population out of abject poverty and subsistence labour.  Seebhom Rowntree, a dissenter, a Quaker ( see Kibworth) and deeply religious man, continues the grand tradition of the social reformers of the earlier Victorian era. In 1910, York is a city just recovering from a recession, a city that was among the wealthiest in the land, in which there were no poor people or social problems. All was good with the land and no person worthy of note was doing badly.  In fact the opposite was true. A full quarter of the population in poverty or constituted the working poor. Seebhom , who was later to run Rowntree's, set up a methodical survey of all persons on some form of relief or out of work. The results were assembled, collated and boiled it down into a shocking picture where even in one of the wealthiest cities of Britain, people were living on tea, bread and margarine with the occasional bit of fish on Sunday. Mrs Nevinson of the survey, has 22 children, of whom 5 survive to adulthood.  The Nevinsons are but one family among many who help with raw data, but the words of the father ring out from the pages 100 years on urging us to see his agony, the futility of his efforts at times, and the fact he is working very hard for little return.

So who were the Nevinsons? Bilton tries to answer the question with the help of genealogists and archaeologists, tracking down this working class family. After a few false starts, the blind daughter is identified as Ivy Addy, who's father is John Thomas Addy who with his family, lived for a time on Phoenix street, and whose descendants still live a mere 2 mile  away to this day. Through the search portion of the ep, we visit the Hungate dig already mentioned in my time team piece on the real Vikings, and see the tiny cramped two story hovels these people were forced to live in, sometimes 15 at a time. It's one thing to read about it, but to see the site and the conditions they were expected to maintain a brave face in , is so much harder to ignore. If you follow the dots from Ivy Addy through several generations . you end with the fat bloke from the film The Full Monty, Mark Addy. Ironic isn't it that he should find fame playing an out of work labourer during a depression. Mark and many of his relatives  were brought together on the site of the Phoenix street house for a reunion and to see where they came from. From the humble beginnings of a  labourer, the Addy's achieved greatness in the military, glazing, and now acting. 

Not to ignore Mr Rowntree, his conclusions laid the groundwork for much of the legislation that insured safe working conditions, paid holidays, decent housing, and recreation. As an employer and company president, Rowntree created a village that included pools parks and libraries. He was to create the model for the ideal employer.  During the worst of the depression , he kept the plants going, churning out chocolate and keeping people employed, this despite massive losses of 33% in 1931.  Surely an example of the old notion of noblesse oblige where the lord of the area has an obligation to the people on his land to keep them safe, whole and healthy. Next time, we see the modern face of post Thatcher and current York. It will be interesting to see just how little or how much has changed. Nicely done that, Mr Bilton, telling the story of reform through the very real experiences of one family from 1910 to 2010.

We wouldn't have Getting On  to write about without Mr. Rowntree and people of his ilk. So a big thank you to all those responsible for bringing us the kind of health care we take for granted, and other parts of the world only dream of.  Getting On for those of you who hadn't seen series one, is about a hospital women's unit that deals with all sorts of miseries and illness brought on by poverty, bad diets and the middle class obsessions of personal fitness. Jo Brand and the fat lass from the Thick of it, play out the day to day existence of hospital staff in a modern well equipped, but stressful and rushed environment of a ward trying to juggle beds, doctor time and teaching. One of the great throw away lines was when Jo brand's character was told she could not call Hillary a twat, so she said "Hillary is such a vagina", later she's taking the piss out of a patient... away for disposal. In this Thick of it filming style, the realistic situations of hospital life comes through sharply and still manage to be humorous. The visit of a patient's daughter all the way from Scotland exposes the sort of cold rule based life that has taken hold in all institutions and the admission of a  geet smelly homeless woman, presses the ward to find a place willing to un-ming her while yet others look for her identity so they can at least have a name to call her. In the US and many parts of the world, that poor woman wouldn't even get a second look. But the NHS, imperfect as it is sometimes, HAS to take her. Take the time to watch this comedy gem, you'll be adding it to your must see programmes list. If you like Richard Hawley, he sings the brilliant theme song.

I'd like to write something about the last Wonderland, Mad Cats and Englishwomen, precisely because it was  so troubling to see the way that fully half the cats in London are treated and the shocking conditions in which the people who care for them live in. The heroines of the cat world are overworked, lonely people who have turned to cats after a life of drugs and alcohol. Pat, who we meet starts the programme  thinking she is doing a sacred mission and that men don't understand, but by the end realizes that she has pushed  men and most people for that matter, from her life by taking in so many cats.  This poor soul has had a rough life in Dagenham and it hasn't got any better over time. The Ex vogue model who runs the cat and dog sanctuary is not much better. Poorly funded and overcrowded, the staff and animals live in quarters as sad and cramped as the well intentioned Pat.  I don't know what appals me more, the treatment of cats by careless and horrible people, or the conditions that those who would save them have condemned themselves to live in. This is no sentimental, humour tinged, crazy cat lady special, it is gritty and disturbing, AND well worth the watch if you've the stomach for it. Celia Hammond and her band of volunteers deserve all the help they can get, but the sad part is that they themselves are as lost and sick as some of the cats they save. I felt sick after watching this, I'm not sure why even now, except to say that no one should live like that, man or beast.

BBC Peasants' revolts v Time Team's Real Vikings

In a head to head battle between history programmes on essentially at the same time and purporting to appeal to the same viewership, it is fair to compare the two episodes I had to watch this week. Keeping in  mind I had just watched 24 hours straight of Chilean miners being rescued in a TARDIS like pill. BBC coverage of which I wrote about here, and in which I praise the trio of BBC reporters who for all intents purposes  won the world cup of special coverage. It's important to note that they did it by making the miners real and constructing a well connected narrative you could follow and care about. Remember this when I compare the two programmes, it's mightily important.

First out of the block was the BBC Michael Wood's Story of England. In case you've missed this so far, the acclaimed Michael Wood proposes to tell the story of England entirely from the perspective of one town. The Village of Kibworth in Leicester.  In this week's instalment, Peasants' Revolt to Tudors
, he takes us from post plague peasant revolt ( say that ten times fast) to Tudor stability. Yet again he guides us through  a series of important document with the occasional scattered mention of prominent local families. The story is of Poll taxes which apparently have never gone down well, that lead to revolt and peasant reform. It's the less discussed rise of education through the increasingly self taught lower classes. By self taught, I of course mean they were given lessons by locals who gave of their time and made sure they created a large pool of educated, literate potential merchant class citizens of the future. I'll admit the information about the Lollard rebellion that prepared the way for the reformation was important and well presented.

Unfortunatly, the episode could not hold my attention. Of course I was knackered beyond words, even after a full day of rest from watching miners, but that's the point. A good programme would have held my interest. Most of the information and locations were nothing new. The perspectives were mere touches of information where less timid historians would have plunged into fearlessly. So many opportunities  to delve into specifics in a structured, less haphazard manner were missed. For example, when they visited the Brown house, they took a core sample that estimated the approximate age of various parts of the house. But they didn't give us a proper tour, section by section. Even the tantalizing view of the methods used to join the beams was rushed and sloppy. Yet again we are shown a series of maps telling of the changes in land ownership and land usage, but it's so fast and poorly explained, the assumption is that we are too stupid to understand or to care. In the previous week, we at least got to meet a jury and saw it at work. This week,  nothing really. Yet again, we're shown a field trip that concludes little and archaeology that turns up nothing of any real value as far as moving the story along. Despite  the Lollard uprising motto, "The fair society" ( which he  failed to mention) echoing through human history and British history,  little attempt is made to connect the dots.

If I have a major criticism of this entire series, it is this. If you are doing a ground up history from the more proletarian perspective, you need to establish a few threads that connect the entire narrative.  In a special about a merchant woman from the 1400's or 1500's , Professor Wood weaves a tale going as far back as her grand father and how he got the land and the market stalls she eventually fought to keep in the court of law. This programme worked because we had a solid connected story from grand dad to father to daughter to her children and her two husbands. In History of England, he should of selected three of the oldest families in Kibworth, a Roman one, A Saxon one, a Vikinger one and lastly a Norman one. By  tracing the stories of theses families from Roman occupation to the present, as best he could, we would have had a real sense of history attached to people. High borne people , lowly peasants and aspirational merchants. would have taken shape through the stories of those 3 to 5 families. Sometimes overlapping, sometimes eclipsing the other in influence. What is it to be a Villain, what does it mean to be a serf? What happened to the old Saxon nobility? They didn't just disappear. All of them continued in some form or another.  Sadly, we never get a clear picture of any of the families, if anything it resembles the sort of outline you present your professor when you propose a research paper. This has the feel of scattered un structured, un analysed data. I'm not opposed to old information being presented again, but I do demand that there be some point and logical conclusion that connects the data presented, and that it be done in a compelling way. If you've never studied the breadth of English history, this will be an eye opener, history 101.  But for the veteran history enthusiast, it's all a bit scattered and pointless with the occasional fresh bit of information.

As tired, sleepy and bored Michael Wood left me, the next programme woke me up like a cappuccino and biscotti served by a sexy waitress wanting my number.

C4's, The Real Vikings, a Time Team special.  presents us with a big question. Tony Robinson asks who were the real Vikings. Were they the cruel blood thirsty rapists or some kind of misunderstood farmers? Then they do a radical thing, they take the collected wisdom of recent digs and research and construct a new better more realistic picture of the real Vikings. Bereft of nobles and kings, this new version of history paints a picture of a mercantile people with far reaching commercial links as far as Russia,Afghanistan, Egypt  and as close as Ireland. From the brutal and tragic attack on Lindisfarne in 793 to the battle of Stamford Bridge in 1066. The Vikings ran the Danelaw bringing in thousands of settlers, farmers, craftsmen and metallurgists. Tony and company , via a new dig in the Hungate area of York, show us the mercantile side of the Vikings. Through it, we find a well organized group that urban plan a residential district and a warehouse district that separates the production, storage and merchandising of posh advanced goods as well as ivory and furs. Property and ownership are not alien notions. They do however prefer arcs over the Roman grid system in new developments.   Just how good at trade were they? A chalice from France filled with coins from around the known world of the day, shows they were masters of the sea long before Nelson and his mates built an Empire.

Were York's Vikings pigs? apparently not. They had an  area of cesspools well away from the rest of the work areas. This of course does not mean they were immune from the risks that even a well put together well chilled larder could not combat. In the cesspools, we find Viking Poo, yes 1000 year old faecal matter that sheds light on diet and health as well as variety of foods eaten. Though they may have had worms, these were not poor savages, but prideful wealthy people concerned with primping and appearance complete with bling knives made by metallurgists who would not be surpassed in skill until the industrial revolution.10th century Viking York, according to contemporary accounts, was crowded but organized, it had a population of at least 30,000 at a time when such a City would have been seen as a major world  centre of trade.  Representatives from every corner could be found there and they were clearly not suffering or poor.

Were at least some Vikings capable of great savagery? Yes, we visit a site in Northern Wales that shows the massacre of a family. Bound and then brutally executed.  You could conclude that this was all the proof you needed the Vikings were unparalleled bastards of the first degree. But you'd be wrong. Further south, in the Saxon borderlands, a pit containing the bodies of 51 men. Tied, necks cut clean through and jaws broken, these men were not just killed, they were mutilated. And they were all Vikings. So please, lets be clear on one thing. Saxons,  Romans and  Normans were all cut from the same cloth, capable of the same savagery when the mood struck them. The rules or values of one group were not their evil to our good. Again using sources outside of the Saxon chronicles and Viking Chronicles, we learn the Arabs knew them to be good traders and honest if you did not harm them first.


The culture that Vikings brought to England was poetic and epic, in the sort of prideful way all warrior cultures do but hardly Vogon bad, They bring us at least 2000 words we still use today and they did in short order accept Christianity. Going from burning Churches to  building them and attending older ones they had left standing. According to the Domesday book, in parts of the North of England, 9 out of 10 people still living there were of Scandinavian origin.

There is a lovely bit when one of the regular loonies from Time Time, visits the Orkneys to show us a selection of manky Viking graffiti.  " so and so was here with a maiden and showed her a good time " But not in those words. These were normal people like you and me, except that some of them were fierce warriors, but back then who wasn't? I can watch stuff like this all day long. And before I forget, they didn't wear those silly horned hats.

Last bit you'll not want to miss before C4 takes it off the player, 1066, The Battle for Middle Earth.   A dramatisation in not quite ye olde English of the three major battles that changed the face of English history. A fresh view told in the words and traditions of the people of the time. You  will gain a deeper understanding of the time and you'll never again read Lord of the Rings in the same way ever again. It's one thing to be aware of the inspirations of Tolkien, but to live them like this is a perspective changer. Must watch telly.

In case you're interested, mate of mine Mr Keith Topping has done a canny interview with Tony Robinson.

Masterchef Professionals reduce and Michael Wood plays it safe.

Michael Wood's Story of England continued tonight in what was a return to a more familiar format for the acclaimed documentarist. We pick up with the end of the World as we knew it and stopped short of the great plague. Most of the material had in fact been covered by other programmes last month during Norman week. That is not to say it wasn't interesting or well told. In his more familiar territory, Proff Wood did the BBC walk and interviewed a number of scholars who ritualistically pulled out the Domesday book and other ancient documents to appropriate awe and respect. He then wandered the countryside going to places so far away they had little if anything to do with Kibworth. I'm not saying he didn't illustrate his point properly, but we were told it was supposed to be about England through Kibworth's eyes. The one time he could have done so much more, he chose to do as little as possible. The Gar Tree or Speech Mound of Kibworth was a fascinating vestige of old English culture going as far back as the Druids, we had a location, medieval records, photos of the tree, we had aerial photography, we had a gnarled tree stump that looked at least 1000 years old. Did he do anything with it? Did they dig a test trench? Did they even walk over the spot it was supposed to have been on? NO. He could have  helped clarify much about early traditional moots, but he walked away. You know, while I'm at it , he also didn't think the Roman mound/Norman moat and bailey castle was worth excavating either. Time Team would have made a two parter of this one and most certainly discovered information that even now is under threat of being washed away and lost for ever. On the Gar Tree site alone, the number of questions that could have been answered. What kind of food did they eat? Did they leave sacrificial offerings on the site? Just how old is the site and of course if it was used as late as the 1700's, what was it's last recorded use and why was it abandoned.

As a history enthusiast, I was deeply disappointed. On the whole, I could have missed the hour and not been the poorer for it, that is except for the bit about the Gar tree. I sincerely hope the Plague to Oliver Cromwell is better and contains some nugget we might not have otherwise been aware of. Considering the programme was on at the same time as the 2nd half of  the Manchester United  CL match, and  was the only other thing  that wasn't a complete waste of time, I had hoped for something a bit more than reheated Norman history. If the next one is as tepid as tonight's effort, I may well consider looking to my DVD collection for inspiration. I know, I can watch a Tom Baker Doctor Who complete with sacred mounds and creepy villagers in tweed. Read the next review for Peasants' revolts to Tudors or watch the episode here

And so I was left with a bad taste in my mouth after the promise of a towering feast of history. But do not be concerned dear reader, I did get a pudding worthy of the G-ds. Masterchef The Professionals was in quarter final mode with a cornucopia of ingredients, including what looked like at least a £1,000 worth of perfectly formed truffles. There was sea food, fish , venison, rabbit, lamb and quail.  Fresh fruit and veg the likes of which make you want to fall on  and shamelessly writhe in. Is this making you hungry? It surely is making me. In order to insure no one is hurt in the reading of this blog, I will reveal that one beef Wellington was overcooked, an innocent rabbit was burned in a pan and some purée was polluted with vanilla pod served in a main?!?! Ben the French lad made the best pudding you will have seen till now on any Masterchef. Secret splosher Greg Wallace declared his pear in a sponge served with marzipan wafer, three raspberries and assorted other lovely bits to be the closest thing to a hug on a plate.  The critics unashamedly wanted to take it home and do unspeakable things to it with their tongues. Even our allegedly icy pro chef , multi Michelin star man was making noises that in no way resembled speech as we know it,  I myself was left in a state of utter ecstasy and I couldn't even taste it.

Needless to say, Ben will compete in the upcoming Semi finals, as for the rest, it was a question of do you put through the great chef who made you wait or the one who killed the Wellington but was on time. I say if a cook makes you wait and it's worth it , the wait is part of the experience. And eventually the panel agreed with me, putting through talented Northerner John from Northumbria who wowed the critics with lamb main and I think the shrimp starter . Nervous Dave and the others could have played a better game, but in the end inexperience and nerves took their toll. Basic mistakes  like not properly shucking beans and putting too many flavours on the plate at the same time, as well one case of murder through cold cucumber soup that ruined an otherwise perfect meal.  It's so easy to make mistakes, but on the level these people are operating on , they cannot afford to be sloppy. All of them have day sous chef jobs IN restaurants, and one is the head chef. Mistakes like burning rabbit and serving said rabbit won't be tolerated in a place were that kind of food doesn't get beyond the pass. Can you tell I'm enjoying this?

Reviews for week two here and finally here, And now week three and week four


Thursday, Nigella, and reviewed here, as well as  the Hairy Bikers are batting against tough Uefa cup competition. Manchester City v Nigella and Si and Dave, Hmmmmm, I know Nigella has her knockers (check in the mail for permission to use oldest joke on earth) and the Hairy Bikers with Mums know best seems be a repeat, but the TV guide is telling me otherwise. We'll see.


I promised you a Chocolate cake recipe yes? Well I'll definitely post it at the week end. In the mean time I strongly urge you to resist that Jafa cake, lovely as it is, and bake something fresh. My wife made us pretzels like they sell in New York and in the streets of old Poland. Cost us next to nowt and we'll be in hot baked heaven for the next few hours .


Till next time when I hopefully tear myself out of the kitchen and hop back into the mystery and mayhem that is comedy and detective crime.

Michael Wood's Story of England or Time Team BBC style

In BBC4's Michael Wood's Story of England, Kibworth plays host to Michael Wood and his Time Team wannabes for several episodes in order to trace the history of all of England through this one prototypical village. One suspects there is more to the choice than mere locale and  it's  near complete set of records going back to the early 1300's. The fact that a famous hoard of pre-Roman coins was found nearby and that it's near the Roman administrative centre of Leicestershire, must have factored heavily.

Before I say anything else, I have to admit to thinking that Tony Robinson was going to show up at any moment and accuse Michael Wood of nicking his gig. In fact the entire programme will likely be a continuous invitation to compare the two programmes. So lets get it out of the way now. Michael Wood is no Tony Robinson, while Baldrick has been doing this a few years over at C4 with sufficiently respectable results, Michael Wood has been wandering the major digs of the world going back to the first time I remember him doing the Helen of Troy story. Both are memorable for different reasons, all of them good. Robinson draws you in with his folksy style and complete lack of fear of embarrassment, while Professor Wood is the prototypical Don with his soft spoken approach that borders on the seductive, I should know, my wife does this sigh thing when he comes on. I'd love to see a Dan snow Michael Wood collaboration one day, that would truly set the ladies hearts fluttering. While Tony Robinson entertains while he informs, Proff. Wood comes off as less excited and more of an academic presenting you with incredibly important information in the nicest way possible, which suits me fine as he's not exactly covering new ground so to speak.

The archaeology is pretty basic, so what separates the two programmes? Not much really, except that in this case the entire town of Kibworth has been asked to dig test trenches in their gardens and front lawns. Clearly there was going to be more than the standard 3 days before the construction crews moved in or the budget ran out. Another curious thing I noted is the bad weather that "dogs" Tony Robinson, seems to have stayed away so far for the Kibworth dig. Michael Wood has not had to get his wellies muddy or have to hide from the elements in a noisy cold damp tent yet. It's early days I hear Tony screaming from somewhere under a tarpaulin. I do have to say for the record that I missed the madder than a bag of wet cats archaeologists from Time Time, Michael's lot seem so well behaved and clean.
 
Has it been compelling? Have I learned anything new? Yes and Yes. while much that was said or shown through voice overed info clips was pretty basic to veteran history enthusiasts, a few bits were new and well presented. We learn of the origin of the name English from the Anglo Saxon's description of them by the Pope. The new chosen people as the Proff told us. Not Angles but Angels. The use of superimposed graphics  very nearly like Time Team, is supplemented by a visit to several locations, one that recreates the life of a typical Anglo Saxon village. It's archaeology porn at it's finest, complete with experts telling us that otherwise unremarkable bits of pottery aren't in fact rocks or dirt, but proof of occupation by one invader or another.

What truly makes this telly hard to turn off, is the number of small children and assorted locals who's enthusiasm for the project shines through. They even get tested to see if they are Viking, Anglo Saxon, Roman or vestigial Welsh speakers. A sleepy village that could have easily been by passed and allowed to stay ignorant of it's past, is now literally getting it's collective hands dirty finding out about itself. During the programme, locals will read written accounts from throughout  the ages and no doubt come across direct blood relatives in the process. How can even the most jaded disreputable youth or bored pensioner be left unmoved after this much effort.

My favourite bit so far has been the Roman burial mound, though not touched in the broadcast, we learn it was the tomb of one of the last pre Roman nobles of the area. What the mound underpins , is the notion that despite many changes and new neighbours, the original inhabitants never actually left. They adapted from one regime to the next.  Anglo Saxons, Vikings and later on Normans ( who we'll see next time we're told) all contributed to the place names and the language spoken in the area without significantly displacing the previous influences.

One dark message in the first episode is the stark warning that with the fall of civilizations , come dark ages that are hard to come out of. This point is hammered home by the loss of Roman technology in 410 AD that would not be equalled before the 18th century. Will we suffer the same fate he asks, when the petrol runs out. I would argue  we already have to some extent, in as much as we are far more dependent on the skills of an increasingly smaller group of technologically gifted individuals and nations, having on a massive scale lost completely, certain previously common skill sets while others are clearly on the endangered list. If tomorrow the electricity and petrol stopped, our civilization is so thoroughly caught in its own technological trap that the very notion of going back to some of the old ways is impossible now. The decent into subsistence farming and crude tools would be rapid and brutal in some places.

I for one will be watching till the end. The prospect of missing out on some new nugget of information is too great. Yes I'm a history anorak and proud of it, and anything that gets an entire community so involved is not a bad thing. Catch up on the iPlayer here, and if you're like me, record it . Follow up review of next episode  from Domesday to the Plague.

Huzah! Spooks and Qi are back for another series,

What a great time to get ill. I have full blown stage 10 Man flu, Lurgie , call it what you want. But it means I  get to sit in front of the telly most of the day and then switch over to the iPlayer when I'm in bed. My doctor recommended lots of rest, and I'm following her advice. Haven't moved a muscle in the kitchen or gone outside except for some medicine. It's new series season and the feast that started last week continues apace this week.

At the week end I watched Qi XL and regular Qi. Loved both, but sad to say BBC scheduling boffins, if I have to choose, I will always want MORE Qi, not less. Hodge Podge was funny from beginning to end and featured the perfect Geordie. Seems Ross Nobel is the one man from the North who can communicate with Stephen Fry. I particularly enjoyed the monkeys who were ultimately clad in red and white striped pants. I cannot believe that was accidental. Perennial loser and straight man Alan Davies had a canny loss, coming 2nd  with quiet dignity never losing his ability to hit the punch lines. The best nugget of information I took from this ep was that Halitosis is a made up illness treated with harsh Victorian washing fluid. I was half expecting Victorian "enthusiast" Ruth Goodman to come on set with some of it to clean Alan Davies. Listerine was until the invention of Halitosis, not a mouth wash, but floor cleaner. Mouth wash , another clever concept like dragon breathe that hadn't previously existed.

Not to be outdone, Britain's Really Disgusting Drinks, further educated us to the clear  dangers and minor perils lurking in our drinks cabinet. Alex Riley first blew the lid off the "medicine man" style waters on offer. Some apparently help us slim, yet others keep us alert and yet others supplement our vitamin deficient bodies with a bit of help from Pharmawater. Having never been taken in by the confidence men and women telling about pro biotic this and vitamin enhanced that, I was a bit surprised by the number of seemingly intelligent people who bough into the concept. Having flushed the lies from water, he next targeted wine. I dreaded the expose, but it turns out the worse thing I found out is that cheap wine special marketed to be sold at half price is fobbed off on innocent, read ill informed folk. Ok so maybe I'm not as easily fooled as some with a bit of French or Italian and a fancy label. But it was amusing to say the least to again see people delude themselves that the cheap plonk they were buying was somehow highly prized quality wine that Tescos had got a good deal on.  Cheap high alco beer got a quick going over, but did we really think the power buzz tramp special was anything other than what it was? It at least meant my tipple of choice, Guinness, wasn't mostly mouse droppings or  toe nail clippings .I can continue blissfully thinking beer is made from cold mountain streams and the heather of the valleys and if I drink it, truly fit women will want to have sex with me.. Or was that the Vodka advert?

Well in the end there had to be a Bogey Man to hang a sack full of blame on, the monks who have brewed the fortified wine Buckfast for over 80 years. Seems the Scottish reprobate of today chooses Buckfast to go off his heed and commit acts in the name of stupidity. Is anybody going to take out the caffeine? Why aren't there roving bands of wankered OAPs? Well simple answer first. The kindly grans of yore only have a wee glass, while the yobs can sometimes drink 2 to 3 bottle a night. Clearly something has to be done. Not one to avoid blame being heaped on the makers of the product, I fully agree something has to be done about the price and the easy availability of this Jekyll Hyde juice, I'm just not so sure that the full blame lies with the brewers. Oh in case you missed it, there wasn't anything particularly disgusting in any of the drinks. Disturbing and alarming perhaps, but not disgusting. I've eaten tripe, drank old fashioned cough medicine and eaten pungent cheese, now some of those can be disgusting, but that's just a question of taste and how prepared you are to open yourself up to the full range of flavours and textures. I have however eaten food in American fast food places and shopped in convenience stores. There lurks the truly appalling and disgusting, as it's not only foul tasting, but some of it will kill you. Nice touch, the animated balloon heads, never tired of them.

Speaking of scary, Go Compare, Go Compare!!!!!! No really, go compare the last few teeth rattling mind jolting outings of our least favourite insurance pitch man. The New Egyptian theme seems tired and forced. Even the victims seem  bored by it all. If you want to make it into a proper 30's or 40's musical, we need to move on and get a smooth crooner in a tux. not the male Ethel Merman. I know a mate of mine who will disagree with me, but I still much prefer the Meercats and even my till now brilliant Omid Djalili spots over these annoying adverts that serve only to insure I will never Go Compare.

I have saved the best for last. Spooks has at long last landed in our happy schedules that were gagging for some decent drama. Spooks yet again shows that dreck like ITV's Identity can never hold a candle to the best spy thriller on telly at the minute. So were we ?  Ros has died, Harry wants to retire, Ruth and Lucas are back in from the field. Another series opener, another funeral. If you are a cast member, don't expect any sentimentality from the writers. Tonight the world is on the brink of another well conceived Al Quada/Somali pirate story. Nothing is as it seems and you will be surprised if you think you can foresee the twists before they happen.  One of the best things about Spooks is that enough of the future story is dribbled out in little teasers of doubt and suspicion that you will need to re watch if only to be sure you were on the right track. Top scene has to be the scene when  Harry Pearce visits the now disgraced former Home secretary. The events that follow are a master class in keeping things in the family. Do I trust the new girl? of course not, where not supposed to, do I trust the new Home secretary? Definitely not, but I can't tell you why. He exudes a sort of reserved caution that could have him end up being Satan or Saviour. We have yet to crack the Hydra headed international conspiracy and the world of Lucas North is in for some more turmoil this term. It can't help but get better and better .

Don't miss starting this Wednesday, Micheal Wood's History of England, tracing the twisted alliances of history from early Roman times to today by digging up the past of a small village. And of course C4's Ramsay's best restaurant and the BBC's Great Bake off continue.

Happy telly all, I will now climb back under the covers and whimper quietly as my sinuses are held hostage by microscopic pirates intent on ruining my week.