Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

If you tuned into BBC4 expecting to see an Electric Monk and St-Cedd's College, and perhaps even a horse in a Don's rooms, you would have been disappointed. The Fridge however and the secretary pretending to type are still in. Except for the fact that the entire chain of improbable events that make the hunt for Henry the cat in the book an un-closable read, you still have in essence, Dirk Gently a surrealistic being living in what appears to be a universe of his own making. He believes in the interconnectedness of all things and that by following the clues however improbable, he would find the truth.....Sherlock Holmes on acid. And yet.... this is the same Dirk Douglas Adams created in his 1987 book.

I appreciate the BBC could not possibly recreate the barren bizarre world of the Electric Monk any more than they could possibly spend 20 minutes or more wandering around Cambridge or Oxford, they simply didn't have the budget. Despite this, Steven Mangan who plays Dirk and Darren Boyd who plays Richard McDuff manage to convey the insanity that is Dirk Gently. If you've never read the books, and I strongly recommend you do, you won't have a clue as to why the fridge is funny or why Dirk and his land lady are in a state of protracted war over the fridge, but you will get the sense that despite all you see, Dirk is in fact the only one who's got it right. Then again if you don't get Schroedinger's cat, the entire concept may just go over your head.

What I liked about the hour is the way the story was strung together in the most logical and sequential way possible, without loosing any of the comedic timing and irony of the gags as they are dropped on you one after the other. Did I mention it's a comedy? BBC 4 seems to think it's a crime drama, where they got that idea I haven't a clue , but we'll let that pass. The other character that is omnipresent in this story is Dirk's car. The Doctor has his TARDIS, Gene Hunt has his Quatro and Gently,  welll Gently has his Austin Leyland Brown Princess. A car as dodgy looking as he is and probably just as prone to functioning in the way we recognize the word function about as often as Dirk is to be rational.

This appears to be a one off, which is sad, as there could have been a lot more. I will have to re-read the books to enjoy the full insanity and timey wimey aspects of Douglas Adam's last work. I think I would have made a great Electric Monk, pity they didn't ask me.  If however there will more stories in the future, I would love to see some of the more fantastic elements included this time. The Dodo bird and Valhalla would be nice see as well as the now lost opportunity to have had Gordon Way's ghost trying to make call on his mobile on the side of the M1. I suspect the biggest problem came when they asked themselves the big question; How do you describe the un describable? How do you trim down the effects budget without stripping out the core of Dirk Gently's world? This programme is the answer, not an entirely satisfactory one for the fan who was looking forward to some "Pretty amazing shit" as Zaphod Beeblebrox would have said. For a one hour, low budget, compressed retelling with only the one truly sci fi element in it , it still worked as a taste of what you will expect, if you read the books. If you won't be, which is a really a pity, you will have at least got the essence of the man and his methods. Holistic chaos and the interconnectedness of all things.

I hope there's more to come, but if not, well done as a bit of stand alone comedy.

For full cast details and to watch the programme 

Michael Wood's Story of England or Time Team BBC style

In BBC4's Michael Wood's Story of England, Kibworth plays host to Michael Wood and his Time Team wannabes for several episodes in order to trace the history of all of England through this one prototypical village. One suspects there is more to the choice than mere locale and  it's  near complete set of records going back to the early 1300's. The fact that a famous hoard of pre-Roman coins was found nearby and that it's near the Roman administrative centre of Leicestershire, must have factored heavily.

Before I say anything else, I have to admit to thinking that Tony Robinson was going to show up at any moment and accuse Michael Wood of nicking his gig. In fact the entire programme will likely be a continuous invitation to compare the two programmes. So lets get it out of the way now. Michael Wood is no Tony Robinson, while Baldrick has been doing this a few years over at C4 with sufficiently respectable results, Michael Wood has been wandering the major digs of the world going back to the first time I remember him doing the Helen of Troy story. Both are memorable for different reasons, all of them good. Robinson draws you in with his folksy style and complete lack of fear of embarrassment, while Professor Wood is the prototypical Don with his soft spoken approach that borders on the seductive, I should know, my wife does this sigh thing when he comes on. I'd love to see a Dan snow Michael Wood collaboration one day, that would truly set the ladies hearts fluttering. While Tony Robinson entertains while he informs, Proff. Wood comes off as less excited and more of an academic presenting you with incredibly important information in the nicest way possible, which suits me fine as he's not exactly covering new ground so to speak.

The archaeology is pretty basic, so what separates the two programmes? Not much really, except that in this case the entire town of Kibworth has been asked to dig test trenches in their gardens and front lawns. Clearly there was going to be more than the standard 3 days before the construction crews moved in or the budget ran out. Another curious thing I noted is the bad weather that "dogs" Tony Robinson, seems to have stayed away so far for the Kibworth dig. Michael Wood has not had to get his wellies muddy or have to hide from the elements in a noisy cold damp tent yet. It's early days I hear Tony screaming from somewhere under a tarpaulin. I do have to say for the record that I missed the madder than a bag of wet cats archaeologists from Time Time, Michael's lot seem so well behaved and clean.
 
Has it been compelling? Have I learned anything new? Yes and Yes. while much that was said or shown through voice overed info clips was pretty basic to veteran history enthusiasts, a few bits were new and well presented. We learn of the origin of the name English from the Anglo Saxon's description of them by the Pope. The new chosen people as the Proff told us. Not Angles but Angels. The use of superimposed graphics  very nearly like Time Team, is supplemented by a visit to several locations, one that recreates the life of a typical Anglo Saxon village. It's archaeology porn at it's finest, complete with experts telling us that otherwise unremarkable bits of pottery aren't in fact rocks or dirt, but proof of occupation by one invader or another.

What truly makes this telly hard to turn off, is the number of small children and assorted locals who's enthusiasm for the project shines through. They even get tested to see if they are Viking, Anglo Saxon, Roman or vestigial Welsh speakers. A sleepy village that could have easily been by passed and allowed to stay ignorant of it's past, is now literally getting it's collective hands dirty finding out about itself. During the programme, locals will read written accounts from throughout  the ages and no doubt come across direct blood relatives in the process. How can even the most jaded disreputable youth or bored pensioner be left unmoved after this much effort.

My favourite bit so far has been the Roman burial mound, though not touched in the broadcast, we learn it was the tomb of one of the last pre Roman nobles of the area. What the mound underpins , is the notion that despite many changes and new neighbours, the original inhabitants never actually left. They adapted from one regime to the next.  Anglo Saxons, Vikings and later on Normans ( who we'll see next time we're told) all contributed to the place names and the language spoken in the area without significantly displacing the previous influences.

One dark message in the first episode is the stark warning that with the fall of civilizations , come dark ages that are hard to come out of. This point is hammered home by the loss of Roman technology in 410 AD that would not be equalled before the 18th century. Will we suffer the same fate he asks, when the petrol runs out. I would argue  we already have to some extent, in as much as we are far more dependent on the skills of an increasingly smaller group of technologically gifted individuals and nations, having on a massive scale lost completely, certain previously common skill sets while others are clearly on the endangered list. If tomorrow the electricity and petrol stopped, our civilization is so thoroughly caught in its own technological trap that the very notion of going back to some of the old ways is impossible now. The decent into subsistence farming and crude tools would be rapid and brutal in some places.

I for one will be watching till the end. The prospect of missing out on some new nugget of information is too great. Yes I'm a history anorak and proud of it, and anything that gets an entire community so involved is not a bad thing. Catch up on the iPlayer here, and if you're like me, record it . Follow up review of next episode  from Domesday to the Plague.

The Road to Coronation Street a BBC film

Squee..... Yes it was that good . As a massive Corrie fan and writer who one day hopes to have his work acted out on screen, Daran Little's play was a symphony of story telling that covered multiple layers of human aspiration and the beginnings of one of the greatest television programmes ever made.

Review of 50th Anniversary week here

The cast was brilliant, I could not have picked them better. It was nice to see John Thomson back on Corrie after having been so badly wasted by Kim Crowther. Must have felt like  poetic justice. The casting of William Roaches son was pure genius. While I may not have seen the first ep as wasn't yet born for another three months, the photo montage credits at the end was spooky in it's similarity to the people we had just seen on screen. As a bit of fun, see if you can spot bubbles off Ab Fab. Elsie Tanner and Ena Sharples were stand out performances from a vast cast that individually and collectively contributed to a great story.

As a story of a ground breaking programme being conceived pitched, written, and sold to the network bosses, it was an object lesson in my other motto...."Never Surrender", it goes along with my golden rule that it doesn't hurt to have friends in high places that believe in you. The Tony Warren I saw on screen was the ambitious, conflicted, driven man who believed in what he was selling so much , he could not help but infect those around him. That he was right only served to make his quest that much more an un-stoppable juggernaut. And yet it could have all stopped dead in it's track if his boss hadn't also had a vision of bringing quality innovative telly to the people of Northern England....Granada land. Harry Elton, we are told pulled out all the stops to sway the hard as nails money driven Bernsteins and even pushed for regional actors.  The scenes played out so well I felt I was the fly on the wall getting all excited about being part of the next great thing  on telly.

The reality of  how a programme was brought to us in stark detail when we went through the casting, costume and set design stage. And before that we even had the notion of an audio version to just hear the script to prove you could speak the lines and have them make sense and be entertaining. I cannot tell you the thrill my wife and I had as we witnessed every step and misstep taken by Tony Warren in his fight to make Coronation Street real. Entire meeting and script writing sessions flashed through our heads, we became Tony Warren. Even the first run through for the pilot was so real we couldn't help but feel the excitement and tension of the room.

Tony Warren and Harry Elton did what PT Barnum espoused, entertainment should be great and memorable. Not even the Bernstiens could guess that the boring bits in between would be great telly if they were acted well in Manc. The foundations of Coronation Street were reality, both in setting and situations, the addition of speaking Northern was nothing short of revolutionary. England was not just Royal Shakespeare or the BBC News. For the first time on television, regional accents and dialects were heard as well as reflecting back the real lives of those watching. As a Corrie fan It can see how until about two years ago that ethos was well and truly drilled into the production of Coronation Street. That even now as I praise this teleplay about it's creation, I cannot watch the current run , shows how far Corrie has strayed from it's roots. Corrie is not about spectacular explosions or homicidal maniacs, it's not about spending EVERY waking moment shouting at your neighbours and coming to blows. There is supposed to be a sense of humour about the place, a feeling of community that keeps it all from going out of control that is now sadly lacking. It wouldn't hurt the current production team of Phil Collison et all to watch a few old eps and this film to remember the spirit that created Coronation Street.

The Road to Coronation Street serves as a double jointed creature.On the one hand it is a present to the fans from the people who so carefully nurtured the project from simple spark in a pitch meeting to a full blown real 50 year old institution. That line about finally seeing the place that had until then only existed in his head, was incredibly powerful. I  had the shivers when they showed us the finished Number 3.  There was real love in that film tonight and it was for a programme and legendary group of humans who came together  to make our tea times inseparable from Coronation Street. Even now, entire families still make time to watch together. Oh we drift away from time to time, but never for long. If you are the average person who just watches telly, you need to have this on DVD.  It's a keeper you'll want to watch more than once.

Now if you are like me, a writer and aspiring television producer, this story is so much more. It is every one who ever dreamt of putting on a show and just how hard and unbelievable the process is. You watch this and learn a few simple rules.

1- Never give up
2- Make sure you have at least one friend upstairs
3- Don't be afraid to make a fool of yourself
4- Take chances
5- Never loose sight of the prize
5- Don't be petty, you never know who you'll meet on the way down.

Every incredibly hard step you take from first idea to pitching, creating the characters, creating the setting, putting words in their mouths, pilot,  casting, getting a commission to getting the thing done, keeping it on the air, is a struggle and a rush of adrenalin that keeps you going to the next step. Never get complacent or forget why it works in the first place. I would be lying if I said I watched this with the detached interest of a curious by standard viewing a historical special on the steam engine (also invented by a Northerner and a bit of a nutter). This story is as close to non sugar coated warts and all telling of the inside of the television game. I know from experience that some things have not changed a bit in all those years, but it also says that despite it all great television still gets made and if you have a brilliant idea, you shouldn't give up at the first hurdle. While most of you who watch this will just see a creation story, I will always see an inspired example of how and why we should continue to aspire to great art and great story telling.

The Road to Coronation Street is worth re watching, recording and owning when it comes out on DVD. Why the BBC did it and not ITV is a mystery to me, but I'm chuffed it got done by the right people judging from the results. For the full cast list and to watch on the iPlayer click here. Read Daran Little's piece in the Telegraph.